Chapter 40

If this is the real end – 23

 

In my first life, I greeted my end in an underground jail.

Remembering the exact moment I died was difficult. I writhed in grief, anguish and despair. I thought it was understandable that my memory was vague.

And so, even if Soleil’s friend came all the way to this place, I couldn’t recall the details clearly. … … I shouldn’t have been able to.

           

In a sudden flash, the mist in my mind cleared up. I remembered one thing.

He, at that time, said he had brought Silvia’s ribbon.

           

As I lay collapsed on the ground, every breath bringing along pain, he told me, “You better give up and die.”

His words were excessively indifferent, but when he whispered “I’m sorry” with eyes blurred out by tears, this might have been his way to offer me his compassion. It’s fine to die now, he might have been trying to tell me that.

Then, extending his arm through the iron grid, he gave me Silvia’s ribbon.

 

“… You might say that you don’t need this, but dying alone is lonely, isn’t it? In the place you must go now, your little sister is waiting. So, set your mind at ease.”

 

However, I probably won’t be able to go there, he said, forcibly putting in my hand the ribbon stained in blood. Even though I was told it was from my little sister, I didn’t recognize it and didn’t feel anything from holding it.

Besides, why did he have something said to belong to my dead little sister? The thought it might have been entrusted to him by Soleil or my parents crossed my mind, but that idea didn’t settle in my mind.

However, if he had been present when my little sister was attacked by the bandits, then everything would be explained.

 

Like the current situation.

 

“Why... are you… here?”

 

The red-haired man Soleil questioned… … Edward, titled his head. Then, with a troubled expression he answered, a smile devoid of strength on his lips, “Don’t you already know?”

You betrayed me? My fiancé whispered in a barely audible voice. His back clearly shook, showing how upset he was. In the first place in such a situation, I didn’t think there were anyone who could maintain their presence of mind.

 

“Soleil. I think you know that too but, for the sake of the one thing they cherish, humans can do everything and anything.”

 

While his hair fluttered in the wind like a swaying flame, he declared so. It had a profound meaning. But Edward sank in silence and looked towards Saion.

Taking over, Saion shrugged his shoulders and said with exaggeration, it’s not a bad thing to cast away everything to protect what’s precious to you. Then he winked his dark purple eyes.

It was strange because his soft narrowed eyes felt like they resembled Silvia’s. But I didn’t know whether or not there was a blood relationship between them.

 

“… What are you talking about? What will you do with me? Say, Lord Saion …”

 

Still restrained by the large-built man, Silvia asked in a small voice.

My little sister was wrapped in the still soft light of the setting sun. If this place was a stage, then she was the leading actress bathed in the spotlight. Tears spilled over from her eyes similar to amethysts, glittering as they fell on her chest.

 

“Well, various things happened. I said it earlier, didn’t I?”

“… Lord... Saion… why? Why are you doing that?”

             

Maybe he was moved by her crying voice that induced pity, but Saion answered back in an irritated tone, “Ah, alright!”

 

“Well, it’s okay, I guess. I’ll explain since you don’t have a lot of time left. I said it earlier but, Her Majesty the Queen who passed away wasn’t blessed with a child. Currently, the problem of her succession has broken out. … … In other words, it’s not that there isn’t any successor. Obviously. The royal family could not not have taken any measure in case something happened to Her Majesty, right?”

 

And so, several successor candidates are currently facing off, aiming for the throne. That’s what Saion talked about.

 

“Among these candidates, there isn’t any who is a direct descendant of Her Majesty. Every last one of them had been living in a place far from the crown. Yet…how should I say it? They have been chosen. Then, there is my brother-in-law. He was lucky… or should I say unlucky? But he became one of the successor candidates.”

 

With a dry laugh he dropped his eyes.

 

“I wonder, isn’t there anyone who can know what his future is going to be like hereafter?”

 

He sighed and it felt like his voice had weakened a little. No one could answer his question. Because no one knew.

Now, time was overwhelmingly too short to organize my thoughts regarding this story I heard for the first time. It wasn’t a light topic that could be answered after a few seconds of consideration. Saion probably knew it too, as he said, “It’s a problem you guys cannot picture either.”

 

“Currently, the royal family is stormy. But a new problem has arisen here. A group advocating the abolition of our monarchy has appeared. And their ulterior motive is to crush in one go our royal family shaken by the problem of succession.”

 

Saion, who had rattled on and on until now, suddenly drew his sword.

 

“In the case someone other than my brother-in-law becomes the king, the people in the way will all be made to disappear. Then again, in the case the abolitionists win the struggle, all the people related to the royal family will be purged. In other words, you see, for my brother-in-law, apart from becoming the next king, there is no other path left.”

 

I wonder if you guys can understand the feelings of people born in such a country?

Saion said as he readied his sword. Matching his action, the other two men and Edward took a fighting stance. The large-built man shoved Silvia away.

My little sister, who became free, tried to move towards us as she staggered, but Saion stopped her with his words, “If you move, I’ll kill you.”

Silvia’s shoulders shook and she stopped where she was. Her figure was hidden by Edward when he stood before her.

We were completely outnumbered. Soleil was at a great disadvantage.

 

… … If the maid who stayed back at the estate transmitted my message to Al, then it was possible he would come here. However, even now, his figure was nowhere to be seen.

In this situation, no matter how much time I stalled, I could already see how this would end.

 

“Moreover, the problem doesn’t stop here. That’s right, I’m talking about Silvia.”

 

My little sister was far. Her trembling eyes were fixed on me. Her eyes were telling me, save me.

 

“If her existence were to become known… in terms of lineage, she would become the major contender for the succession. That would be a problem. After all this time, if she appeared now, that would be very problematic!”

 

Whoosh! The sound of grass being curbed by the wind resounded and became the signal.

The first one to move was as expected, Saion. His drawn sword glittered, in an instant, my vision was dyed blank.

 

“Even so, I won’t allow it!”

 

Rising his sword, Soleil exclaimed this. Violent sounds of metal colliding against each other echoed in my ears.

It was possible that Saion was involved in the intelligence corps of his country, so he may be used to fighting with a real sword. But Soleil was a student. You couldn’t say he had many experiences with actual fighting. Even an amateur like me could tell who had the advantage.

Besides, even now Soleil had yet to fully understand the present situation. He seemed to be sticking to a defensive fight.

 

The two people who had a friendly chat in the cafeteria were now facing each other.

Had Saion anticipated such a future? No, maybe, he had never thought he would be confronting Soleil like this.

If I hadn’t brought him to this place, then Saion and Soleil would never have crossed swords like this.

 

“Soleil, you’re really half-hearted. … … I even tried so hard to show you the right way.”

“…What?”

“I kept encouraging you about your cute Silvia. That more than Miss Ilya, Silvia was a better fit for you. I said it so many times, again and again. Because I knew things could have settled peacefully this way.”

“What are you talking about…?”

“If Silvia had become part of your marquis house. Then this situation could have moved in a better direction. If her name had entered the register of your house and become one of yours, then it would have been the same thing as if she had pledged allegiance to this country.”

“…”

“Because the name of your house is well-known in other countries, Silvia would have become an inhabitant of this country in name and reality. By doing so, she could have completely separated herself from our country. Yes, in that case, there may have been room for negotiations. We could have left Silvia at large and overlooked her.”

 

Soleil had already lost all his words and simply listened to Saion while warding off his sword.

 

“The situation we want to avoid the most is for little Silvia to continue existing as the “innocent daughter” of the earl. No, to be more accurate, if she had stayed in the estate as a secluded young lady, living without her existence being known to others, it would have worked out too. And yet of all things, she had to start attending the academy.”

 

What a shame, said Saion as he shook his head and heaved a sigh.

 

“Even though the people of our country are trying to use Silvia, aiming for the right opportunity to strike…. For her to nonchalantly continue to attend the academy, it really makes me laugh. But you see, even we wanted to avoid a needless killing.”

 

So, I took great pains to give you a choice. Saion swung his sword in a large movement.

Soleil moaned. His sleeve was torn and blood was flowing. Without thinking, I gasped.

 

“Miss Ilya… …”

 

Abruptly, my name was called. Saion shook the blood of his sword, looking at me.

 

“But Soleil said that. … … That if it wasn’t you, if it wasn’t Ilya, it wouldn’t do.”

 

Hearing his words, my eyes opened wide. I couldn’t even answer anything back.

It was completely inconceivable that Soleil had said such a thing.

 

“There was no room for maneuver for me, no place to interfere. So, you didn’t need to be so anxious.”

 

Soleil stepped forth as if to protect me and once again turned towards Saion.

At that moment, a voice resounded, “You bastard, are you betraying us?” When I reflexively turned in that direction, Edward was directing his sword at the big man who should have been standing by his side.

They were scowling at each other with a fierce glare, absolutely not looking like companions.

 

“It’s unfortunate, but I never intended to be on your side from the start, so calling me a traitor isn’t right.”

 

Edward, who had barely interjected in the conversation until now, cheerfully grinned.

 

“… You don’t care about what’ll happen to your family?”

 

Saion asked him in a calm voice. He was still facing Soleil but I understood his question was for Edward.

What was the thing Edward talked about when he mentioned “the one thing he had to protect?” Even without being told, all the people present here knew.

Surely, Soleil must have understood too. “Ed,” He started calling out to him but eventually, drew his lips together.

In this situation, the meaning was that Edward changed to our side. He was exuding an air of determination. 

 

“… Of course I’m hesitating. Naturally, I cannot say I don’t care what will happen to my family. But, they love me. These people would never forgive me if I became a traitor for their sakes.”

 

So, I won’t betray my friend! Soleil’s best friend firmly asserted so.

Hearing this, Saion sneered.

 

“Well, well, well… what a wonderful friendship. But, Ed, that means… you have the resolution to die, right?”

 

You’re so foolish, so childish, he continued.

He was a man who had crossed over countries for the sake of his brother-in-law, a man who had even made use of his friendship with Soleil.

For Saion, Edward’s way of thinking was probably impossible to understand.

 

“…… Alright, now. Playtime’s over.”

 

A slender man, who was looking at Saion’s and Soleil’s confrontation, clapped his hands.

He was probably going to assist Saion. He stood diagonally to Saion’s back, facing Soleil. On the other hand, Edward and the large-built man once again readied their swords.

During the conversation, they had kept each other in check, not averting their confronting gazes from each other.

Even so, Edward slightly changed his posture, his attitude showing he was trying to protect the nearby Silvia.

 

“It’s a pity we couldn’t come to an understanding.”

 

I wondered who said this. Hearing these words which sounded like a sentence to death, my hands unknowingly shook.

Although my life or death was being haggled in front of my eyes, I couldn’t do anything.

 

“Sorry but I’ve no intention of dying!”

 

Edward’s voice was bright. Was he pretending to be confident or did he truly think so from the bottom of his heart?

He rushed towards the big man. As if in sync with his fluttering red hair, blood danced in the wind. The difference in strength was clear. It was impossible for him, who wasn’t even an ordinary knight, to fight evenly with someone who was clearly a professional.

But he still tightly grasped his sword. Even if blood flew, he didn’t show any sign of pulling back by even one step.

 

“… If the country we had been born in had been different, we might have become good friends. But, this is also fate.”

 

When Saion swung his sword, Soleil also countered him.

I was an amateur who didn’t know much about fighting, but since their builds were similar, it seemed that their strengths rivaled each other. But currently, Soleil had to face two opponents.

Saion had probably brought along with him the elites of the secret corps. From the perspective of their age, they couldn’t possibly be students and it felt they were used to real fighting.

 

“And you cannot go against fate.”

 

Saion made a hard-to-read expression, as if he was laughing but also grieving.

For the sake of his brother-in-law, he pretended to be an overseas student and went to a foreign country as a spy. In terms of age he was the same as us, yet he had resolved to dirty his hands to defend what he had to protect.

 

“Everything was going great! If I could have used your complicated relationship, I could have suppressed this situation well!”

 

When Saion talked to me in the back yard, he spoke about his country. That marriages out of love were becoming commonplace.

 In his country right now, a huge change must be taking place. The main populace was probably at its core. That’s why, his and his brother-in-law’s standings were in a terribly dangerous position.

According to his words, that time when Silvia’s mother sought asylum, that country seemed to also have been thrown in the mist of chaos. It was a country that had repeatedly been in conflict again and again like this.

That might have been why he told us with gloomy eyes that he envied our peace. It was hard for me to say I understood his feelings, but I remembered this devoted thought of wanting to do one’s utmost for the sake of one precious thing.

 

“Lord Soleil!!”

 

The sun was setting, dyeing the surroundings red, drowning out the scattered blood.

The one who screamed was Silvia. The slender man had pierced Soleil’s shoulder with his sword.

I almost let out a shriek when he groaned, but I desperately held it down. I didn’t want to be in his way. I just heard that Silvia kept screaming.

 

I thought we’d lose. At this rate, Soleil will die.

Boom, boom, my heart was making a hideous noise. Sweat was drenching my clenched fists. The same moment I felt scared, dizziness assaulted me as an oncoming premonition slowly rose in my chest.

Peeping through the window of my room, a nameless black bird was looking towards me. That bird said he was named Crow, the bird portentous of ill-omen.

 

“Wait, please, wait.”

 

I haven’t made my resolve yet. I still didn’t know what I should do to lead this situation towards a good direction.

My gaze roamed to the right, then the left. I took several deep breaths, trying to arrange my disordered breathing.

Unable to put my mental state in order, I just hurried towards my sister. I knew something was about to happen.

Meanwhile, Silvia’s voice once again rang out, “… Lord Soleil!!”

 

… … However, it wasn’t like Soleil was being driven into a corner.

Before long, he cut down the slender man, then quickly dodged. His sword raised in front of his face blocked Saion’s attack.

 

“…Ah” A voice full of admiration unintentionally leaked out. It sounded distant.

In front of my eyes, the moves they exchanged as they stirred up their swords seemed to slow down. Everything around me seemed to proceed to slow down. I could now perfectly see the sword moves my eyes couldn’t keep up with before.

Soon, Soleil’s sword pierced Saion’s abdomen. The way he screamed and spat out blood was rather disgusting.

I couldn’t help but feel scared. But, that’s why I was convinced it was Soleil’s victory.

 

The fact that I wasn’t feeling relieved yet was because I could guess what would happen after that.

The thought we had won only lasted a moment. Far from losing their fighting spirit, Saion’s eyes shone with a will even stronger than before. The dull light in his pair of eyes sharpened and he looked toward Silvia.

I wondered if anyone noticed it. Not even Soleil, who was tightly grasping the sword piercing him, could have guessed Saion’s intention.

 

It was the will to protect to the end the thing he cherished, no matter what he had to sacrifice for it. The firm conviction to not let anyone get in his way and hinder him. The determination to present his own life in order to carry out his ideal.

 

I also used to be like that in the olden days. That’s why I understood Saion had used his body to seal Soleil’s sword and moved to fulfill his objective.

He let go of his sword, then threw away the short dagger concealed in his sleeve towards Silvia.

 

I thought I wouldn’t make it, but the feeling similar to a threatening sense of duty moved my feet. My body moved faster than my thoughts.

After receiving a strong shock around the lower part of my chest, I understood exactly what had happened. I didn’t feel pain. Because I had previously been assailed by a more intense suffering than this.

My noise and mouth closed at the same time and I became unable to breath. I thought somewhere inside my mind that this sound similar to a hiccup I suddenly made, was because I failed to breathe.

In my back, my little sister gasped. This sound resounded in my ears.

 

“…. Ahah, ahahahahah !! How funny. How... very... funny.”

 

The figure of Saion collapsing while laughing disappeared from my view.

No, it’s not that. I couldn’t keep him in my field of vision. I also couldn’t stand.

Because in my chest, the haft of a dagger was sticking out. 

 

“There is no point, no matter how much you protect your little sister! Her life will always be targeted from now on…!”

 

I thought while listening to the distant screams of Saion. His words had a point. Until its homeland regains its peace, Silvia will surely keep being targeted.

 

… … In that case, all the more reasons to leave that child in Soleil’s care. The overwhelming political power of the marquis house will become Silvia’s shield.

 

“Big sister! Big, sister…”

 

For a few seconds, or maybe a few minutes, I felt my consciousness flying.

Silvia’s voice brought me back to reality. While I was unaware of it, our surroundings had regained their silence.

Frustrated by my blurring field of vision, I blinked several times. When I finally managed to clear it, I saw black hair and a pair of blue eyes. Soleil was peering into my face.

That namely meant that we had reached the conclusion. And the fact he was there probably meant that Edward’s fight had also ended.

“Ilya.” While staring at the face of my fiancé who quietly called my name, I called out the person who should also have been close by.

 

“… Lord Edward, can you take Silvia away?”

 

Despite the fact I should have been in so much pain I thought I couldn’t breathe, unexpectedly, I could speak firmly.

“There is something... I want to talk about... with Lord Soleil.” Now that I thought about it, there was no pain. Only a strange sensation as if my pulse was festering.

 

“Big sister…”

 

Edward pulled away my little sister, who was trying to cling to me who lay collapsed on the ground.

As I thought, he had already suppressed his opponent. He seemed to have been injured, but it seemed it wasn’t endangering his life.

Even though blood was shed, my wish had come true. The fact that his face was distorted was probably because he was feeling remorse for having betrayed his friend, even if it was only a pretense.

 

“Lord... Soleil.”

 

Soleil, who had lifted my upper body in his arms, nodded, “Yes.”

I thought it was a gentle voice. It felt so, for some reason.

 

“I’ll take you to a doctor immediately, so…”

 

He tried to lift me but it didn’t go well and my body once again lay on the ground.

“Damn it!” He clicked his tongue, something that was very unusual for his normal self.

His arm seemed to be considerably injured. He could probably not put any strength in it. Despite this, he was struggling hard in order to hold my body.

 

“Lord Soleil, Lord Soleil … Let me down. Saion’s acolytes... there might be more of them. You have to get... away from there.”

“Alright, I understand. But I can’t leave you behind.”

“… It’s impossible. For the you right now... it is impossible... to take me along.”

 

I didn’t feel any pain. Neither cold nor warmth. But even then, I was running out of breath.

 

“Take Silvia to a place far away from there, please. With Lord E-Edward... the both of you... protect that child. As for me… we’ll part here.”

“… Such a thing! I cannot possibly do that!”

“No, you can. … You have to do that.”

“Impossible! I can’t! I can’t… leave you like this….!”

 

Soleil’s arms wrapped around my back. Then he tried to carry me, but he couldn’t.

Why, doing all this after this struggle to the death… with his body full of wounds. Not only Soleil but Edward too could be said to be in the same situation. They should not have any spare energy left.

Moreover, Saion’s comrades might appear at any moment. They must leave this place as soon as possible. Everyone understood that, and yet, they didn’t move because of me.

 

“Lord Soleil... look… please look at me.”

“…”

“It’s already hopeless for me…. Isn’t it?”

 

As he was crouching down to hug me in his arms, I touched his cheek. His pale skin had no warmth.

No, that’s not it. My fingers had lost all sensation. That’s why I couldn’t feel the warmth of his body.

 

“You have to… make the right assessment... of this situation. Because you will... eventually... become a marquis. The things you need to cherish... and those you need to take care of... you must make sure of them… Please, judge... what you ought to do.”

“I can’t, such a thing, there is no way I could do that…”

 

Soleil, who kept repeating “I can’t,’” was like a child.

I wondered if it was my imagination, but the corner of his long and slit eyes appeared to be reddened, as if tears were hanging at their rims.

However, my vision was blurred, and I couldn’t see his face clearly. Was he regretting his dying fiancée?   

 

“… Lord Soleil... it’s alright already. I mean... you... do not love me... don’t you?”

“…Ilya.”

“You said you cherished me. But... you do not love me... and I too, I also… that’s right.”

“…”

“I do not... love... you.”

 

These words I thought I would never say, smoothly overflew along with my breath.

Even though I thought I couldn’t tell a lie. If it wasn’t for my sake but for his, then I could. These words were said to help him make a decision.

 “…It’s a lie.” Soleil who whispered that, embraced my shoulders. Maybe he was trying to ascertain something but he stared at my face at a distance close enough for our eyelashes to touch.

 

He was the same as me when my mother died.

And I was in the same situation as my mother at that time.

 

I remember how my mother, who died once in front of me, had opened her eyes wide at her very last moment. Those light green eyes of hers had stared fixedly at me. As if she couldn’t close her eyelids.

 I was the same. I didn’t want to turn away from Soleil’s face for the shortest second even. I was afraid that this face I loved would disappear from my view, even if it was just for a moment.

Until my very last instant, I wanted to engrave his face in my eyes. So that even if my life ran out, I wouldn’t forget it. And so, I couldn’t even blink.

 

… … I wondered if my mother might have felt like this too.

 

If that was the case... then, there was an inconsistency in the words she left behind.

If she had truly not loved me, then it would have been better to quickly close her eyes. She didn’t do that. She eagerly gazed at me.

Maybe I couldn’t see the true meaning behind these words because I was so upset. These words that were whispered like a refusal at that time, their true meaning was…

 

Ah, now, I see. I finally, understood. Mother had surely said that.

 

“Sorry, Ilya.”

“I... have... never been able to love you...”

“...well…”

 

That was, in other words, the substitute for “I love you.”

She might have tried to give me, who had to witness her death, some relief.

So, I’ll follow her example. I have to achieve this.

 

“Lord Soleil. Please go…. Go… You said you cherished me... then, keep your promise…”

“Ilya,”

“Hands... don’t let go. That child’s hands... grasp it… protect her…”

 

My throat was making a whizzing sound. I could no longer speak.

Soleil, who was staring into my eyes, strongly closed his eyes.

Then he touched the back of my head and my shoulder, and let out one lone sob.

Finally, he slowly let go of my body.

 

“… Sister! Big sister.”

 

Silvia, who was held by Edward and probably couldn’t move, called me.

 

“I… I, know… I know everything…!”

 

Beyond my darkening sight, I heard the voice of my little sister who was stretching her hand towards me. I knew Edward was holding this little body of hers, trying to take her away.

When I tried to say it was fine like this, I realized my voice wouldn’t come out.

 

“I always knew! That big sister, in reality, you truly love me!”

 

My field of vision seemed to be eaten away by darkness. When I looked up, the twilight sky was darkening, as if a hole was spreading out bit by bit.

I wonder when the sun had set.

 

“After all, if it wasn’t the case… if it wasn’t like this… how would you call this…! It’s because you love me, right? That’s why you protected me…”

 

Her voice... was getting distant.

 

“I know you did that because you loved me! I know you love me, big sister! And so, and so… I also loved you…”

 

My crying and shouting little sister. My lovely, little sister.

If this is love, very well. Then I’ll call this self-satisfaction love.

Being at your side, hugging you, grasping your hand. I was taught that this alone wasn’t love.

           

… … The ribbon Edward had given me in jail. At that time, I thought it wasn’t familiar but…

If it’s the me “now,” I knew what this ribbon was.

           

When I drowned in the bathtub and laid down in bed, that child brought me tea leaves.

The glass bottle containing it was wrapped in a red ribbon. I thought my little sister must have put it to decorate the bottle. …

… Silvia’s belonging brought to me in the prison looked like that ribbon. The Silvia who had been murdered in my first life had… on her way to the theater, or possibly on her way back, she must have bought this ribbon.

Maybe she had even chosen it for me. Although now, I would never know.

           

The act of merely displaying something, wishing it would be understood by others, is not love.

Silvia… sorry. I wanted to say I’m sorry but…

 

It’s already pitch-black. I can’t see anything. The real end is drawing near.

 

I wanted to become someone loved by her parents.

I wanted to become like my little sister.

I wanted to become a lady befitting of being Soleil’s fiancée.

If I got married, I wanted to do the right things as Soleil’s wife, I wanted to carry out justice, I wanted to live without bending my own beliefs.

But all these me I wanted to become, I couldn’t achieve even one of them.

 

It’s not bad. If it’s that kind of life, then surely, it’s not bad.

I thought so, and at the moment I guessed was my last, I took a deep breath.

 

Because I was looking up, the voice fell right onto me.

 

“Finally, I’ve found you.”

“My princess.”

 

 Chapter 39                                                                         Chapter 41

Nocta’s thoughts:

The next arc is entitled, “The Eternity of カリアライア(Kariaraia) Ignis.” The protagonist of the next arc is not Ilya. It’s a man, who said at the very beginning of next chapter that he “lived in a world where magic power and sorcery existed.”  I’ll let you guess who he is.

What to do with this カリアライア(Kariaraia) name? Knowing that the “r” and “l” can be interchanged in Japanese, I have to come up with a good name. For a male, I think. We have Ilya, Silvia, what about Kalyaria? Kaliarya? Any other ideas are welcome. I’m terrible at naming.

Chapter 39

If this is the real end – 22

 

… … I remembered a ribbon stained with blood.

           

That day Silvia had gone to the theater to take a breather. It wasn’t something planned in advance, on the contrary, I heard she went out on a whim when the idea suddenly occurred to her.

But this was only the story from Silvia’s side. For another person, it might not have been an unexpected event, it might have been something completely inside their expectations.

For example, at that time, there might have been someone who had told her, “From time to time, why not try to go out of the estate for a change?”

If you heard she had been lying in bed due to an illness a few days before, then you could guess my little sister would happily follow this piece of advice.

           

To Silvia, who was always spending all her time indoors, they might have said that it would affect her health negatively. 

The person herself had said it, but all that was permitted to that child was to take a walk and read. The servants wouldn’t speak more than necessary in front of their masters, and more than anything, they had their own work to do. No matter how much precedence was given to Silvia, they couldn’t look after that child all day long.

Even if she went on a walk, it was only walking around the mansion or strolling in the garden. Moreover, it was a habit she had from childhood. You could easily guess she must have gotten bored of this overly familiar scenery.

When that girl, who always slept a lot, said she wanted to go to town, even the people around us didn’t really try to stop her. They were probably thinking among those lines, it’s fine once in a while, she should be allowed at least this much.

 

However, wasn’t that tragedy entitled “murdered by robbers” orchestrated by human hands?

 

In my second life, I had yet to know of Silvia’s birth and circumstances. Yet I still felt it might be someone’s plot.

But the me at that time didn’t think the aim of that tragedy was to injure Silvia. I thought it was a scheme to make me, the fiancée of Soleil, fall.

In fact, I think this wasn’t a mistake either. For someone who thought I was in the way, it was a unique opportunity. Because by using Silvia’s death, they were able to drag me from the position of Soleil’s fiancée to that of a sinner.

 

… … But that was not where the point of the issue lay in the first place.

I could only say I didn’t reach the right conclusion because I only focused on myself and didn’t consider other things.

In spite of concluding I couldn’t become a supporting character in this story, I still perceived myself as an important key figure.

 

“… You said that something is going to happen to Silvia? Why is that?”

 

Soleil, who went down the carriage first, naturally held his hand for me. If we weren’t in such a situation, my expression would surely have softened just thanks to this gesture. I could easily picture such a me.

When I put my fingers in the palm of his hand, he grasped them gently as if to scoop them up. For Soleil, if the person he interacted with was a woman, he would behave like a gentleman without being flustered.

That’s why his line of sight had already moved away from me and was examining our surroundings. Maybe because he had already heard the story of Silvia’s upbringing, but he was vigilant. His gaze slid over the thick forest of broadleaf trees and while he was at it, he confirmed the color of the sky.

           

I remember how, in one of my lives, just after our marriage, he distinguished himself as a knight.

And I remember the letters he sent me when the chivalric order he belonged to went on expeditions. They were blunt and curt letters. They were written with unconcerned sentences in which I couldn’t see the slightest bit of emotion.

           

I even recall how I cherished such letters like a treasure.

 

“Besides, why do you know Silvia is being targeted?”

 

The eyes of Soleil, who suddenly turned back towards me, were sharp. This glare looked like it contained anger, but he was simply getting worked up.

Because for him, this situation came out of the blue. Although he was someone whose facial expressions were hard to read, he might be shaken inwardly.

No, he must be shaken. He was still a student of the academy and could only be called a trainee still on an apprenticeship. He was supposed to have taken sword lessons since youth, but as a matter of course, he had yet to experience actual fighting.

Furthermore, if I dare point it out, you couldn’t call him robust or sturdy as he was still in the midst of building up his body to become a knight. Because he was aiming to become a knight, he wasn’t weak.

However, this didn’t necessarily mean he was tough and strong.

 

In the first place, we were only two years apart.

 

When we were children, these two years of difference felt like a huge wall.

But now, after pilling years and keeping repeating lives, the him who was in front of me no longer looked like a child, but I recognized that he had just arrived at the entrance of the age bracket that could be called adulthood.

While being cautious of our surroundings, his silhouette as he was trying to protect me in his back certainly looked reliable and trustworthy.

But even he was no different from me. He was a noble who should be protected by someone. You could say he was used to being protected too.

I was rather astonished by his gentlemanly behavior, which absolutely didn’t collapse despite all this. 

 

If this was the fruit of the education he went through since childhood, then… I could see how we were beings that had been “made.” We had been trained and cultivated.

 

That’s exactly why he was attracted to Silvia.

 

“I can only say that “I know.””

 

A gentle breeze stroked my cheeks and the trees rustled. The countless leaves which rubbed against each other’s sounded like they were making merry, exchanging turbulent gossip.

When I looked up, countless birds flew high in the sky under the shining sun. In a usual situation, it wouldn’t be called an uncommon scene.

But these black shadows seemed to foster an ominous and ill omen. 

 

“You sound like a fortuneteller when you say that.”

 

Still holding my hand, Soleil, who didn’t know what our destination was, kept turning back to look at me, who walked behind him. There wouldn’t be any problem if I were to walk in front, but he didn’t approve of it. I had to cede in front of his determination.

His sword was hanging at his waist. Normally, even if one belonged to the knight department, students would almost never wear a sword to go in town.

In the first place, because the ones going to the academy were nobles, there was no need to. For example, even if you were to encounter robbers and hoodlums, it wouldn’t be a problem if you had your servants or escort at your side.

That’s why, both Soleil and I fully understood the strangeness of the current situation.

 

At the estate, when I told him it was an emergency and I wanted him to lend me a hand, he was taken aback. But he probably felt something seeing the state I was in.

When I asked him if he had his sword with him, after slightly bending his head in wonder, he made a little nod. After that, I took him with me to sneak out of the mansion and found a carriage.

 

The carriages of my house were all taken, and Soleil’s stood out too much. Anyhow, it was the carriage of the marquis’ house. Its magnificent appearance didn’t look modest.

Now, we needed to avoid as much as possible any conduct that could attract public gaze. Beyond the fact we didn’t know who was related to this matter, if we were to make an uproar, danger would befall Silvia.

That was also the reason I didn’t bring servants with us. I didn’t know where and who somebody might be listening, and to bring along a servant, I needed to obtain the permission of the steward.

It was only that, but it’s an action that would greatly stand out. That’s why I asked the maid to relay a message to Alfred and didn’t take anyone with me.

 

Honestly, whether Soleil would follow my indications or not was something close to a gamble. He didn’t ask much. Not even why we didn’t bring along servants.

For me, just being in Soleil’s vicinity made me be on guard, but I found his attitude quite unexpected. It felt quite strange that the him now who was leading me by the hand was the same person as the “him” of my repeated lives.

 

“However, the fact that Silvia is… being targeted by someone is the truth.”

 

Soleil didn’t seem like he would believe in things like fortune-telling. That’s why the tone of my voice inevitably weakened into a whisper.

 

“I’m not doubting your words.”

 

Soleil sent a fleeting gaze towards me, looking extremely serious, but for a second, his lips arched in a thin smile.

Because he was someone whose expression hardly changed, he was extremely hard to understand. But this gesture made me think he was maybe trying to reassure me.

 

Inside the carriage, I naturally didn’t talk about the fact I had repeated the same time.

Nevertheless, I told him the story about Silvia’s parents without concealing anything. Although he probably didn’t know about that book which was popular in high society, but I told him what kind of story was behind it in reality.

No matter how coherent a story it seemed to be for me, for him this talk must have lacked credibility. I couldn’t have objected to anything even if I had been told it was a “wild delusion.”

 

“And so, what should I do?”

“… Like I said earlier, if you could simply protect Silvia….”

“… And then?”

“Eh?”

“If I do as you said, then what about you? What will you do?”

 

He walked in front of me, pushing the overgrown grass out of the way.

I already knew the place we ought to go. At that time… … after I heard my little sister had died, because I had been restricted immediately, I didn’t know the details of the incident.

I only heard the story that the prison guards whispered among themselves to kill time. Then, since my life ended in jail, that incident was buried in the dark. Since I, who was deemed to be the criminal, had died, it couldn’t be helped.

In the first place, society had focused on this family quarrel between sisters only as a form of distraction. Probably no one realized the truth. Not even Soleil. It seemed he believed I was jealous of my sister and committed this crime because I hated her.

 

That’s why he convicted me and desired capital punishment for me. There was almost no doubt about this.

Even though he might have very well been the sole person able to uncover the truth. His love for my little sister, his hatred for me, had clouded his judgment.

 

From my second life and thereafter, I did all I could so that the incident itself wouldn’t occur.

Eventually, the same event didn’t transpire and I wasn’t able to learn what happened on the very day Silvia died.

 

But, if it was the place where to find my little sister, then I knew.

That child who was supposed to have gone to the theater in town, was found in a place she should have never passed by on her way back to the mansion.

 

… … Yes, it was in the middle of this forest.

 

I heard that the house carriage my sister rode in was found overturned at a place not far from there. The maid who accompanied her was inside, dead, and all the luggage had been taken. That’s why it was judged to be the work of thieves.

But my little sister wasn’t found in that place. The band of robbers especially brought that child along with them. Then, deep in the forest, they took her life.

 

“… … Lord Soleil, the one in danger is Silvia. Not me. So…”

 

I tried to repeat once again “it’s alright,” like I had said earlier, but my hand was tightly gripped and the words were sealed in my throat.

“I don’t think it’s fine” he whispered, looking straight ahead.

What kind of expression did he make while saying this? I gazed at the back of his head but he didn’t look back.

Although Silvia was being pursued, it felt as if it was us who were chasing after someone.

 

Unexpectedly, humans seemed to be going in and out of this forest. We weren’t walking along a trackless path.

While tall trees lined up around us, animal trails weaved their way between them.

You could see that several people had come and gone when looking at the place that had been trampled flat.

 

“… Beyond this, what is there?”

 

It hadn’t been long since we entered the forest. Even so, it felt like we had walked a lot. That was because we were in a hurry and under a lot of pressure. Then, why were we walking?

We had got off the carriage because it couldn’t enter the forest, and we didn’t ride horses because their hooves would make a tremendous sound.

 

“Do you know?”

 

He abruptly stopped and turned towards me. Maybe the sunlight was dazzling, so he squinted his eyes which were trying to read something from my expression.

But I wondered if he didn’t find what he wanted as he heaved a little sigh. As we gazed into each other’s eyes, staying in that place, it became as if we were the only two people remaining in the world.

Even though I knew it wasn’t the moment for this, I thought this moment was precious.

 

The trees were stirring noise, the grass was undulating, the wind blew.

 

In this place where there was nothing else, we were all alone. It was quite irrepressibly maddening.

The day I met Soleil for the first time, we walked in the marquis’s garden together. Exactly the same as now, I was following his back as he walked in front of me. When I approached him, he went away Wen he went away, I approached him. I couldn’t help but be frustrated.

The difference from that time was that, right now, we were holding hands. I might have finally been allowed to tread the same path as him. The thing I couldn’t help but want, I had it here. But I was aware it was a problem to reach for it now.

 

As if to prove it, in the distance, a stiff scream echoed.

 

Even though it was the first time I came here, I knew where that child was. Because that winding animal trail was precisely leading us to our destination.

 

“… … Lord Soleil.”

 

I didn’t need to specifically call him, he already had the eyes of someone about to march into a fight.

 

*******************

 

We advanced forward, treading on the path illuminated by the sunlight filtering through the trees. It wasn’t the time to worry about the noise we made. Pushing our way through the grass that had grown to the same height as our calves, it didn’t take long before our field of vision suddenly widened.

The number of trees which stretched out as if competing to grow higher and higher diminished and the blue sky spread out as if a hole was opened. Compared to the path we had been through until now, it became really easy to walk. Short weeds were thriving on this relatively flat ground. 

 

“… Someone, please! Someone, help…!!”

 

This voice didn’t seem to carry that much fear and dread. She should have intended to scream, but that shriek was quite helpless.

 

“… … Silvia!”

 

Because I messed up and raised my voice, I gasped. Overwhelmed by impatience, I had called my little sister’s name before thinking. I bit my lips, regretting that dangerous mistake.

It didn’t take long to understand what the hell I had done. Because the eyes of the person trying to take away my little sister moved in our direction.

 

“Ilya… stand back!”

 

Soleil quickly drew his sword, standing diagonally in front of me.

Three men were standing there, one of them carrying my little sister on his shoulder like luggage. Although we weren’t standing at a distance our hands could reach them, we were close enough to recognize their faces. If we spoke up, we could hear each other’s words.

 

“… Ah, it’s too bad. Looks like you made it on time.”

 

Even though it was a tense situation, the one who spoke in an idiotic tone of voice was standing in front. The man in the lead made a smile while tilting his head.

I shouldn’t have been the only one who received a shock like a strike on your head when seeing that familiar face.

No, rather, it was the opposite. Soleil may have been thrown into a greater disarray than me.

 

“… … Why?”

 

Even though I was standing behind him, I seemed to hear his heartbeat. It must have been beating very fast, as if it was about to burst out.

It probably wasn’t my imagination that his back was trembling.

 

“… … Why?”

 

High in the sky, songbirds sang. This carefree chirping was completely out of place.

 

“Sai.”

 

Soleil called out his name. His voice rang out in my ears like a buzzing sound.

Forgetting to even blink, I stared at the face of that person. Like the first time I met him in the back yard of the academy, he was making a very gentle and meek expression.

At the same time, a shady looking smile was also pasted to his lips. The same one he had when I met him in the cafeteria.

He was always cheerful, always cladded in a pleasant mood. And yet, he would spit out harsh words without breaking his amiable atmosphere.

 

Saion Topias.

 

That’s how that person with indigo eyes called himself the first time we met.

 

“Why, you ask? I cannot possibly explain everything in a few words. If I must give you one reason, it’s that I also have something I want to protect.”

 

I wondered if the carriage Silvia had ridden on had also been abandoned, toppled on the roadside, like in the past. Also, the maid who was supposed to be accompanying my little sister wasn’t there. It meant that the life of one person had already been lost.

Realizing this fact made gooseflesh run through my skin, and a thick vein at the base of my neck made a gushing sound.

 

The man with the largest built right behind Saion was carrying Silvia on his shoulder. Though her delicate body was lighter than average, carrying a person still required quite some effort. But his body was very stable and he didn’t look like he was tired at all.

Rather, wasn’t he carefreely yawning despite the situation? I guess he didn’t feel cornered at all.

 

“Everything would have been fine if you had obediently stayed in that mansion until you died. That way, I wouldn’t have to do such a thing.”

 

Seeing the expression he made while talking, his eyebrows lowered as if he was really troubled by the situation, it made it sound like we were the one doing something bad.

 

“… Are you talking about Silvia?”

 

When I questioned him, he nodded.

 

“I don’t know how far you’re aware of your cute little Silvia’s circumstances but… No, seeing your expression, you already know everything, don’t you?”

 

After giggling with a little smile, he sighed. The sound of his breath seemed to resound in my ears.

 

“Right now, my country is in a perilous situation. A few days ago, Her Majesty the Queen passed away. … Because she wasn’t blessed with a child, the problem of succession has broken out among the royal family. A lot of things happened, but well, in any case… The country is now divided into two factions, the abolitionists and the royalists. In that situation… if she, if Silvia were to appear on the frontstage… that would be troublesome.”

 

Very troublesome, then interrupting his voice, my little sister yelled, “Big sister!! Lord Soleil!! Save me…!” 

 

Her voice was much stronger and firmer than earlier.

My little sister who was being held in someone’s arms couldn’t raise her face but she seemed to have properly heard mine and Soleil’s voices.

 

“Little Silvia. Your voice is absolutely lovely, but right now, please be silent.”

 

Shhh! He told her as if to soothe her.

In his attitude there was nothing of the characteristic mercilessness of a human working and committing crime in the shadow.

As Saion ordered his fellow countryman, “Put her down,” his voice was lowered than usual. In other words, was he the ringleader of this plot?

 

“Her Majesty the Queen had a little sister. She already died a long time ago though. … That’s right, that was Silvia’s mother.”

 

Do you understand what I mean when I said it’s troublesome? He asked us.

 

“To begin with, she is a bother just by being alive.”

 

In his thin laughing eyes, the sunlight was reflected.

I thought his eyes looked black with the influence of the light. However, under this strong sunlight, his indigo pair of eyes were of a dim violet.

 

What this color indicated was…

 

“… … I know it’s hard on the cute Silvia. But, just by existing, you put our country at risk.”

 

As she stood stock still, Silvia’s face abruptly turned pale.

That child shouldn’t know anything about her birthplace. But it was possible she had heard it from Saion.

           

I wondered if she was aware of how much danger she was in? 

           

No emotions were reflected in Saion’s eyes as he looked at my little sister’s reaction.

Even though the sun hadn’t been clouded, his eyes seemed to have stopped taking in the light.

 

“And so, I was thinking about having you disappear,” he said with only his mouth smiling.

Reacting to the signal of his words, the man standing beside him put his arm around Silvia’s neck to restrict her, and another one prepared his sword.

It felt like the air that should have been flowing gently suddenly hardened and condensateed. My breathing accelerated. It might have been because of the bloodlust they were releasing.

 

“Ah, and also. There aren’t only three of us.”

 

Won’t you come out soon? Following his voice, in the gaps between the trees behind them, figures of people appeared.

It’s at this moment I noticed the sun was beginning to set little by little. The shadows extending from our feet were slightly stretching out. Light and darkness had started to assimilate, the boundaries between them were becoming ambiguous.

 

“Eh, what kind of emotions are you feeling now? Say, Soleil, won’t you tell me?”

 

The intonation of his voice was full of ridicule. He looked like a first-class stage actor.

 

“How does it feel, to be betrayed by a friend?”

 

Had they been hiding until now, or had they just returned here?

The outlines of the people blending in the darkness cleared up, fully appearing in front of us.

 

This head of impressive red hair, I knew it well.

 

He was always standing next to Soleil. It had never changed in any of my lives. They should have been calling themselves life-long friends.

Then, exactly as those words implied, I knew that afterwards, they would always continue to be friends for a long time.

Even after Soleil and I get married, their relationship won’t change and will perdure. …

… It was supposed to.

 

But I remember. In that prison reeking of mold, he had said to me,

 

“It’s stupid. You’re truly a fool. … You can try struggling and denying it all you want, but no one can reverse fate.”

 

Chapter 38                                                        Chapter 40

Nocta’s thoughts:

AHAH! Did you see this coming? Saion, yes, but the nameless red-haired friend? AHAH

So, the queen of the neighboring country died a few days ago… Maybe that’s the event that kept Ilya’s father and Al busy. It might also be a reason why her parents aren’t currently in the estate? Well, I think they aren’t.

But how could Silvia end up in this forest? Did the mother poison Silvia to keep her sick and make her look harmless for the throne succession? She mentioned a promise after all.