Sunday, August 6, 2023

Chapter 60

8 – The End of The End – 6

 

“... ...”

 

“...Ilya?”

 

I felt like I'd just said something, and I suddenly woke up.

I realized that I had fallen asleep and tried to get up, but I couldn't because my body was strangely heavy. I put strength into my right hand, and yet my palm slid weakly on the cloth that felt a little damp.

 

“Ah, good. You’ve regained consciousness.”

“...I, what happened to me?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No...”

 

When I nodded, Crow, who was sitting by the bedside, frowned. According to him, I fell asleep for hours and wouldn’t wake up.

 

"You're hungry, aren't you? I've got some warm soup for you right now."

 

He smiled and added that it was really great that I woke up.

 

"...You had a fever last night... I was wondering what would happen."

 

"...Huh? Last night...?"

 

Instinctively, I checked the outside of the window, and the soft light coming in through the gaps in the curtains was dazzling. The pleasant chirping of a small bird and a refreshing breeze blowing in told me that it was early in the morning.

 

Did I really sleep that long? It seemed that one whole night had already passed since I left my parents’ house. If I just moved my gaze and looked around the room, there seemed to be no particular change, but there was one difference. A basin on the bedside table. Before I went to bed, it wasn’t there.

I see. Did my head feel so heavy because of the lukewarm wet towel that had absorbed the fever?

Crow seemed somewhat relieved and asked, "You no longer need it, right?" Then, he replaced it with a new cold towel. A sigh escaped my lips from the cool feeling. Next, he wiped my face and neck with another dry towel.

While I was admiring how skillful he was as usual, I vaguely remembered something that happened some time ago.

 

“It looks like your fever has gone down now, but you must have accumulated a lot of fatigue. It’s understandable. ...In fact, I would like to let you rest more but... It’s not guaranteed that pursuers will not come after us, so I want to move place.”

 

Crow looked grave as he added that he wanted to leave before noon. Following his line of sight, a small travel bag placed in the corner of the room caught my eye.

 

“It mostly contains your clothes. I think there is enough for a few days. ... Ah, I didn’t pack them up myself. I asked the innkeeper to pack what she thought a woman would need when she went on a two- or three-day trip."

 

"...Eheh, you even thought of that kind of thing."

 

When I answered while lying down, Crow also made an exquisitely bitter face and laughed.

 

"As long as you have money, anything is possible."

 

He said this as a joke, to sound like he was a rich young master, but in the end, I still felt sorry. Ever since I was reunited with Crow, I have been indebted to him.

 

“Don’t make that face.”

 

“... Huh?”

 

"Don't hesitate to rely on me. That's what it means to live, isn't it? Relying on someone and being depended on. We need to support each other to live, right? At least that's what I think."

 

"Yes, you are right..."

 

It was certainly right.

I used to think, "I'm alone in this world," but now I know that's not the case.

 

Looking at my face, Crow seemed to sense something and smiled satisfactorily. His childish expression made him look really innocent.

 

“Right now, when your physical condition is not perfect, I think it will be a burden for you to move around, but… I don't know exactly what will happen from here on out, so I'd like to avoid staying in one place as much as possible.”

 

"Do you have a vague idea of what's going to happen?"

 

Like a scale that was swinging right then left, my thoughts were busily flying inside my head. I couldn't even drive away my sleepiness, and when I questioned him in a half-dazed state, the boy tilted his head slightly without answering clearly.

 

"... Well, what will happen, I wonder..."

 

I can't see the future after all, he added, narrowing his black eyes, which seemed to be able to see through anything as if they were blessed with a second sight.

 

After that, I filled my empty stomach with the warm soup that the innkeeper brought to my room. There were plenty of finely chopped vegetables inside, making it delicious. It was clearly different from what I ate at the mansion, and I couldn’t say it had a subtle taste. A more fitting term would be bland. However, for some reason, it had a really gentle taste that naturally broke out inside your mouth.

As I was admiring it, I heard a rattling sound coming from somewhere. While I was looking for the source of the sound, Crow got up from the bed and looked out of the window.

 

"……What happened?"

 

When I called his name, he glanced at me, but there was no reply. My eyes followed his profile as he turned to the window again. Then, a black shadow was reflected on the other side of the clouded window glass.

The shadowy silhouette fluttered so elegantly that it could be mistaken for fallen leaves or flower petals. As I squinted my eyes and examined it closely, I discovered there were several small butterflies.

 

Insects won't knock on windows. Just as I was thinking that, a butterfly hit the windowpane. A body as light as a feather shouldn't be able to make a sound, yet every time the wings collided, it made a clattering sound. As if it was telling us to open quickly.

 

"...Yeah, yeah, just a second," said Crow with a wry smile as if to placate him, not thinking of this event as something special.

 

An insect that had a will.

 

"Don't be in such a hurry."

 

As soon as he opened the badly fitting window, a few of them came inside with some difficulty. Along with the wind blowing in, butterflies flew into the room as if to say they were waiting. As I was watching the small insects dancing in the air, they suddenly stopped flapping their wings and fell to the floor, as if they had been pierced by my gaze.

 

“Eh?”

 

The butterflies didn’t make the slightest movement, they didn’t even move their wings. They really looked like they had stopped breathing. When I involuntarily tried to stand up,

 

"It's okay, these are just fake butterflies," Crow shrugged and laughed.

 

Then, he picked up a butterfly, put it on his palm and showed it to me. What was there was certainly a butterfly made of paper.

I shook my head, feeling that it looked familiar.

 

"Oh, that's... the butterfly that flew above the carriage...?"

 

When I asked, the boy who had the face of a finely crafted porcelain doll nodded, "Yes."

 

"It came back here?" Confused, I asked him again, but he didn’t give me a definite answer. His default expression was a vague smile formed with the corners of his mouth turned up, so I had no choice but to make a guess from there.

 

"You're clever, aren't you? A long time ago, mages used to communicate like this. I don't think anyone uses this technique anymore."

 

Crow slowly stretched the butterfly's wings and smoothed out the creases. Before long, I saw that something was written on the paper that was now square. As I saw him nod slightly several times, I realized it must be a letter addressed to him.

I looked at it, but the strangely shaped letters were not the language of this country, and I couldn't read a single word. Even though I put a lot of effort into learning many languages, it didn't match any of the foreign languages I knew.

Whether he realized or not that I was flustered, the boy whispered, “I see...” before picking up all the butterflies that had fallen on the floor and checking what was written inside.

 

"We don't have much time."

 

I'm sorry, Ilia. We have to leave now. Crow shrugged his shoulders apologetically.

 

The bill seemed to have already been settled, and when I got dressed and went out, there was a closed-off carriage parked in front of the inn, probably because it had been arranged in advance. We loaded our luggage, quickly got on and the horses started to run. It still rattled and shook, and the leather seats were hard. Still, it was more comfortable than the previous cab.

I don't think I've ever thought that it could be a luxurious means of transportation.

 

When I asked him where we were going, Crow replied briefly that there was an inn a little further away. However, we won’t stay there for a long time, and we will have to move to another place soon. With a slightly tense expression, Crow sent off several butterflies again.

Did they just ride the wind, or did they flap their wings out of their own volition? After seeing off the small shadows that flew into the distance,

 

"...Who are you sending them to?"

 

I finally put into words what I had really wanted to ask for a long time.

I hesitated, because I couldn't gauge whether it was okay or not to ask this. Whether because it was a secret, or because for some reason he couldn’t give details, Crow was tight-lipped. Well, he had always been this way since before we met again in this life.

He only put the most important things into words. Other than that, he kept silent. That was the human called Crow.

 

"... You'll know soon. I can't be the one to tell you."

 

You know who it is. For some reason, he said this with certainty.

I tried to make a guess, but I had no idea who it was. For a moment... ... for just a very slight moment, the figure of Al came to mind.

My imagination was way too convenient, way too selfish in my own desires that I was dumbfounded. For some reason, I couldn’t even smile at that thought.

 

I didn’t want to see him. I just wanted to remember.

 

After that, we traveled an incomparably long distance in the horse-drawn carriage and stayed overnight at a cheap hotel. After that, we continued to move as Crow had announced. We repeated this process quite a few times.

And eventually, just when even counting the days had become too troublesome, we arrived at the edge of the country. It was a large border town with a thriving trade. Even so, the stagecoach kept us out of sight, plus the fact that it was late at night when we arrived in town.

 

After getting off the carriage, the two of us walked side by side through the town where the street lights were lit up.

As I stepped on the paved road, I almost tripped over several times. Crow told me it could be dangerous if I fell and held me by the shoulders to support me. It wasn’t like his body, which didn’t have a temperature, kept me warm, but the simple act of blocking the wind made a big difference.

For some reason, coldness seemed to invite loneliness. As if responding to my trembling body, my heart shook.

 

I've come this far.

 

I’ve seen the name of this place many times on maps, and I’ve heard many adults say it was a lively town. In my childhood, I had spoken about this place to Soleil.

I told him that, because it was an important location for our country’s trade, once he would inherit the title of marquis, he would have to come and visit that place. In response, Soleil asked me to go with him when he would make the trip.

Even now, I still remembered his bright and cheerful expression.

For this reason, in order to be able to converse with the merchants from neighboring countries who came to this area, I devoted myself to learning more and more foreign languages. I thought for sure that from now on, I would finally put to use the words that I had memorized to the extent that I would not encounter a problem in an everyday conversation.

That's what I thought but...

 

“... Are we possibly, going to leave the country, like this?”

 

To make sure, I quietly asked Crow as we walked while avoiding the lights of the streetlamps.

 

“... ...I think you already have the answer.”

 

Seeing him laugh silently, I furrowed my eyebrows.

 

"...But I don't have anything to prove my identity, and I don't even have a passport."

 

You can't board a ship, and you can't leave the country without a good reason in the first place. So to speak, such selfishness was not allowed, especially for the aristocrats, who were considered to be the properties of the country.

 

“It’s fine.”

 

With a tone that was definitively carefree, Crow continued, "We’re entering an alley now, it’s going to darken. So, hold on tight."

 

Even if I was flustered, I did as he asked. Just then, something white grazed the tip of my nose.

Half of my body bent back in shock. When I took a deep breath to calm my pounding heart, Crow said, "It will guide you," pointing at something with his long index finger.

There, was a single butterfly. As if to lead the way, it flew across the pitch-black narrow alley. This little bug was glowing, and it was not a product of my imagination.

 

I walked forward, pulled by Crow who was only half a step ahead of me, and eventually entered a dark road where I could not see even a few steps ahead. I was certainly afraid and anxious. But more than that, the sense of security from having Crow by my side was greater.

 

After walking for an unknown amount of time, the butterfly flying ahead of me suddenly disappeared.

"?" While I was looking for that figure, Crow urged me, "come over here." There was a door through which a dim light leaked. The surrounding area was also a little bright. The faint light was falling from the windows that were evenly arranged in a tall building.

 

"This is a tavern. Is it still open?"

 

Since we had walked down a back alley to reach here, it was not a main street and there were no conspicuous signboards nearby. We were at the backside of the shop.

 

"How do you know this is a tavern?"

 

It should have been the first time he came here. Or was he familiar with it, because of his previous life that I didn't know about?

 

“... ...You don’t remember, do you?”

 

I thought he laughed. However, he also felt somewhat disappointed. So, I gazed at his face to see what he really meant.

 

At that moment, something cold fell on my cheek. When I looked up, a thin thread that looked like a spider's web had twined around my forehead and my cheeks. But it didn’t feel unpleasant, though. It received all the light spilling from the windows and glittered like gold.

 

"...Rain," Just as I was absent-mindedly admiring the thread, that word came out of my mouth involuntarily.

 

"...Finally, I found you."

 

I heard someone's voice. When I looked around, I saw a black mass ahead, in the most obscure part of the surrounding darkness. Was there a trash can left outside by a nearby store? Flying around there were flies that had gathered on "it."

However, when I looked closely, I realized the lump was trembling and moving slightly. Then, it slowly turned its “face” toward me.

 

"!"

 

Eyes sunken into discolored skin. A tuft of dirty silvery hair fell on a pair of dry lips. The cracked lips moved mechanically, and a hoarse voice asked me, "Help... me."

 

“... ...Ilya, .... Ilya!”

 

Startled, I took a deep breath as if awakening from a dream.

 

"What's wrong?" asked Crow with his eyebrows raised, touching my face. "Are you feeling sick?" He rubbed his thumb under my eyes until I regained my senses.

 

Then, I pointed my finger at the darkness to let him know what I had just seen, but... ...there was nothing there. A curtain of rain that danced like mist enveloped the darkness.

I wondered if I had been dreaming.

 

“... I’m.... I am alright. I apologize. It seems I was in a daze.”

 

“Really? Are you really, truly, okay?”

 

“Yes, I’m fine.”

 

When I raised my voice a little to reassure him, his thin index finger touched my lips.

 

"Shhh"

 

For the time being, I was urged to go inside, so I peered through the slightly open door and probed into the room.

Apparently, we were at the back door of a kitchen, and just as Crow had explained earlier, it was indeed a "tavern." Food and alcohol were served inside the building. There was a counter just across the kitchen, where hot-blooded young people were making an uproar about drinking and singing. The men sitting shoulder to shoulder cheerfully raised their glasses, and the women carried the food.

 

"Let's go in," Crow gently pushed my back and we stepped inside.

 

Some of the cooks glanced at me, but they didn't speak to us. Crow didn’t exchange greetings and he didn’t show interest in any of them either, so it looked like they weren’t acquainted. However, they must have known in advance that someone would enter through this door.

I crossed the kitchen and passed by the noisy men and women around the table, but no one spoke to me.

 

We climbed the stairs at the end of the store. Crow, who seemed to be really familiar with this place, told me that the second floor was an inn. It was often used by travelers to rest, and more importantly, it was possible to rent a room without any proof of identity.

 

"As long as you pay, it’s fine. There are many bars and inns like this in this city. After all, it's a trading city."

 

Unlike on the first floor, the hallway through which Crow guided me was completely silent, and he spoke with a lowered voice.

Looking at his back, the question I repeatedly had today once again came to my mind, "Why do you know that?"

 

This Crow... which one of my lives was he from?

 

"Here, come on."

 

After passing several equally spaced doors of the same shape and size, he stood in front of the innermost door and looked at me. And then, with a serious expression, he warned me, "Don't raise your voice even if you're surprised."

I silently nodded in this tense atmosphere, and the boy, who suddenly smiled, knocked on the wooden door. Following a signal that must have been prepared in advance, he systematically knocked two times, then three, then two more times.

In reaction, I heard the sound of the door being unlocked from the other side, and it slowly opened.

As if the other party was wary of us, two eyes appeared from the gap, staring alternately between Crow and me as we stood side by side. The pair of eyes clearly examined us from top to bottom. That person was tall and had a good physique. They were wearing a hood so their hair was not visible and their mouth was covered with a cloth.

Once they had confirmed our faces, they turned around and after obtaining approval from someone who seemed to be in the back of the room, they opened the door wide.

The "please" that came from their mouth was muffled and hard to hear, but it was a man's voice.

 

The first thing I thought when I entered inside with caution was that it was "dark."

The room was small. There was only one bed inside. Crow had said that it was possible to stay overnight, but you could only sleep there, and there wasn’t even a table. It was just a place where you could rest for a short while.

There was only one lamp by the window in the room. That was the only source of light. When I focused my eyes on the corners of the room, I couldn’t see anything. Even if something unknown was hidden there, you wouldn’t notice it.

Wasn't it dangerous?

 

“...Ilya?”

 

Crow, who was standing in front of me and was observing the room, stepped aside. The next second, my field of vision broadened.

Similarly, at the same moment, the other party must have seen me. I heard a gasp.

It was emitted by a person sitting on the bed. Even though they were indoors, they were wearing a cloak and a hood that was so deep that their face was hidden. I could barely see the lower part of their face, from their mouth to their chin.

On the other hand, the man who opened the door earlier stood by the wall, staring at the situation. Perhaps he was the bodyguard of the person sitting on the bed with their back straight. It made sense for him to stay in a position where he could see all the details in the room.

 

―――――Bam!

The person suddenly stood up and took off their hood.

 

"Lady Ilya!"

 

A familiar voice. A familiar face too.

That face, which always had a beautiful smile on it, was slender and had become thin. Her golden hair shone faintly in the faint light of the room. It was a touching and beautiful sight...

 

"...I thought I would never see you again...!"

 

After an unsteady trembling voice echoed, I was strongly embraced. It was too easy to close the distance in that not very large room. Where did such power come from in that delicate body? She was hugging me so tightly, as if to confirm my existence, that I couldn’t breathe and I was suffocating.

My mind had yet to catch up with this situation.

 

"Really, you are really alive...! Thanks God!"

 

Her crystal voice echoed in my ears.

My heart was beating strangely, as if it had broken and was about to stop. It was such a shock. No way, there was no way that she was here...

 

"Can you loosen your power? Ilya will die at this rate."

 

No way,

 

"...Marianne."



Chapter 59                                                                                                            Chapter 61


30 comments:

  1. Thank you so much! <3

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  2. Who was Marianne?

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    1. She was one of Ilyas friends in school. Another aristocrat of higher standing than Ilya herself was.

      Iirc she even mentioned that Soleils behaviour and attitude towards Sylvia was inappropriate, especially considering Ilya was his fiancé.

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    2. كانت أيضًا هي من زارت إيليا بعد أن أصيبت

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  3. Hmm it's been so long. I need a character chat as a refresher. But I think Marianne was her best friend from school in this life?

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  4. Marianne was the aristocrat girl from school, they were friends and would talk.

    Do we know why they are being chased? Who even

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    1. It's been a while since I've read the novel but I believe they were chased by the friend of Soleil and his group. Idr the reason or any exact details and I might even be completely wrong so please do correct me in case I am

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    2. It's more accurately to call them Soleil's "fake friends". Sloain (the one who killed Ilya last time) was a spy from the kingdom of Silvia's biological mother. He and his group want to make sure that Silvia wouldn't ever return to the kingdom to inherit her mother's throne (thus, they great efforts to match-make her with Soleil and how they killed her in every loops in which he married Ilya).

      As Ilya's body was missing from the forest and their group was the only one who bother to visit it, they would want to make sure that she's really died because she's a key witness for their conspiracy.

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  5. Replies
    1. If I remember correctly, Marianne was Ilya's friend during the academic years. She was the first person to comment negatively towards Soleil and Sylvia's relationship

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  6. I think the reason why Crow knows about the tavern is because that’s the place where he found her in the alley on a raining day…. The day that he thought he first found his Ilya.

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    1. أعتقد هذا أيضًا. ما هو أكثر من ذلك، لقد رأت إيليا للتو نفسها من عالم آخر التي ماتت في هذا المكان.
      هل يعني هذا أن هانابوسا تلمح أن العوالم توحدت أو شيئًا من هذا القبيل بعد أن قفز غراب بينهم وأنقذ إيليا في هذا العالم

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    2. perfect assumption -- I think this is very likely. Though I am a little surprised that Ilya in this current timeline forgot this place in the raining day....

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  7. I think the translation here is a little bit weird. I used arrows to show a modified translation, which I think is better.

    "... Eheh, you even thought of that kind of things." —> “… Eheh, they can even do that kind of things.”
    When I answered while lying down, Crow also made an exquisitely bitter face and laughed.
    "As long as you have money, anything is possible."
    He said this as a joke, to sound like he was a rich young master, but in the end, I still felt sorry. —> “Because we are a little rich now” I said as if I was joking, but as expected, I still felt sorry.

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    1. I think the first suggestion is good. Not sure about the second one?

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    2. For the first sentence, you can have two interpretation of the original "…ふふ、そんなことまでしてくれるのね" --> Fufu, sonna koto made shitekureru no ne.
      You can take it as Ilya being surprised the staff can even prepare such things, and it's coherent with Crow's answer "as long as you have money, anything is possible." In that case, both of your propositions are great and fit well.
      But you can also take it as Ilya being surprised Crow was so thoughtful and even prepared clothes for her. She is used to having no one care for her. Remember how Soleil completely ignored all the little details she paid attention to, to make the house pleasant? Ilya is surprised because Crow is so attentive.
      Then he answers like this to hide his embarrassment. He also makes the joke about being rich so that Ilya doesn't feel guilty.
      After all, Crow knows Ilya very well, he knows how she doesn't rely on other, so he jokes about the money spent to reassure her.
      That's my interpretation of the scene and the flow between them, but my grasp of the original text is very lacking. My Japanese has regressed too much, as well as my English.

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    3. I think when Ilya said "…ふふ、そんなことまでしてくれるのね" there's a double meaning which she both addressed to Crow and the inn keepers. However, what you said make total sense to me! <3

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    4. nocta is totally right here -- more likely, Ilya is surprised that Crow can even prepare such things. Because in the next sentence/her thought, she immediately thought about how she is constantly in the care of Crow (or how nocta translated as how much she is indebted to him)

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  8. So happy to see new chapter ^^ Thanks for your hard work

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  9. THANKS FOR THE TRANSLATION AGAIN 😭🙏🙏🙏
    Waiting for the next chapter, pls don't be next year 🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻

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  10. So she’s kind of escaping the story entirely now? Good for her, but I wonder what’s going on with brainwashed bro and if that’ll come back to be plot relevant. Also what is the friend’s position in all this? I wonder how much she knows.

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  11. The more I think about it, the more I wish for Soleil to suffer. In every life, not even once he decided to brake off the engagement, but rather betrayed his wife in the most disgusting way. Even at the academy, he didn't even try to cover his feelings. Selfish 'til the very end. I wish he would dream with all of Ilya's lives. I hope the author hear the wish of the readers for some devine retribution for these people.

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    1. I really really hope so

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    2. لقد ذكر هذا الأمر سابقًا في الرواية، كان زواج إيليا وسوليل سياسيًا بحتًا، لم يكن بإمكان الطرفين فسخ الخطوبة، حتى سوليل نفسه لا يملك هذه الصلاحية، انا اتعاطف معه بهذه النقطة لأنه هو الآخر اضطر للارتباط بشخص لا يحبه، لكن المشكلة أنه قام بخيانة زوجته وما كان أكثر من اللازم حقًا هو أنه فعلها مع أختها والمدهش أكثر أنه يرى حبهما نقي ويرى نفسه ضحية. أريد حقًا صفعه حتى لا يستطيع تمييز وجهه الوسيم في المرآة بعد الآن، لكن لا يجب أن ننسى أيضًا أن سوليل في هذا العالم ليس نفسه سوليل السابق، إنهم أشخاص مختلفين

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  12. thank you for the translation!! i love coming back here every few months to see if there's a new update. im glad youre still translating this!

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  13. It's been a while since I binge read this novel but I'm still so traumatized by the chapter when her sister became pregnant and Ilya killed herself. So cruel. The author describes her feelings very well. But sometimes I feel that Ilya is an unreliable narrator because there are some doubtful parts in the story e. g. when she runs away, who betrayed her and why or why did her sister tell Soleil that she probably has someone she likes when she clearly knew that her life revolved around school and home. She sees Soleil and her sister in a good light, like they are kind to her and it's not their fault what's happening because it's fate or something but for me it's the opposite, they are very much at fault and knowingly don't care of her at all. Unless they are utterly stupid, that is.

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    1. هذا رأيي فقط لكنني أعتقد أن نشأة الفرد تلعب دورًا في تشكيل شخصيته.
      على سبيل المثال إذا كنت أنت إيليا، لم يكن وجهك جميلا جدا، فقط وجه عادي، ولديكي شقيقة أجمل منكي ومحبوبة من قبل والديكي أكثر منكي، وعشتي في العصور الوسطى ودخلتي العالم الاجتماعي منذ الصغر وتمت مقارنتك منذ الطفولة بالأشخاص الآخرين ولم تتلقي الحب أو الاهتمام من الوالدين، وتم إجباركي على الخطوبة من شخص لا تعرفيه وأنتي بعمر 8 سنوات تقريبا أي بالكاد تفهمين شيئًا بالعالم، ومن حظكي أنك تقعين بحب هذا الشخص وبعد سنوات من العمل الجاد والدراسة والحلم والتخطيط للبقاء مع هذا الشخص والأمل في أن تكسبي قلبه، تجدين أن خطيبكي مغرم بأختكي التي هي أجمل منك وتجدين والديك يساعدان شقيقتك للتقرب من خطيبك وأنتي لا تستطيعين فسخ الخطوبة لأن هذه خطوبة سياسية بحتة ولا يمكنك الهروب من البيت ولا يوجد من يساعدك للتحرر من هذا الألم، فكيف سيكون شعورك عندها؟
      نحن نحكم على القصة لأننا لا نعيشها ولأننا أيضًا بالغين. الأشخاص الذين لا يمكنهم اختيار شريك حياتهم هم من أكثر الناس تعاسة في هذا العالم.
      بإمكاننا الحكم بوضوح على أن إيليا يجب أن تتخلص من مشاعرها نحو سوليل، لكن بالنسبة لهذه الفتاة التي كان سوليل هو الشخص الأول الذي رأته وتم إخبارها أنه سيكون زوجها، لقد غرس هذا في داخلها وسيكون من شبه المستحيل أن تتخلص من هذه المشاعر، لأنها لم تقضي فقط 10 سنوات في حبه، بل ربما وصل الأمر لمئات السنين مع كل حياة تعيشها

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    2. I agree with you. We should also add that for Ilya, Soleil seemed like a safe haven where she can run to from her abusive home. What a tragedy of a life. I wonder how the women of medieval times coped with these kind of life because it was normal for the husband to have mistresses. They probably didn't like their husbands either and have lovers on the side too but if they had feelings for the husband, that was definitely a cruel life. Ilya was emotionally weak because noone has ever liked her so from one life to the next, she hasn't become resilient but the opposite, more traumatized and in the end, she just gave up because she couldn't fight for herself anymore.

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  14. I have a question about the translation: When Ilya said "このカラスは、一体いつの……、私の人生においての何週目のカラスなのだろう。" Is she really saying: how many times has this Crow comes into my life" or "Which timeline is the crow in front of me from"??? I am very confused about author's wording here....

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    1. Thanks to your comment, I re-read the original line and changed mine.
      Before, I had translated it as "This Crow, how many versions of my previous lives had he seen?" but that's not what Ilya means. Your second interpretation is correct.
      Now, I've changed it for: "This Crow... which one of my lives is he from?"
      "Timeline" sounds better, but I don't think Ilya would think of her lives as "timelines" that's why I go with the simpler term "lives"

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