Chapter 65

 9 – Marianne’s Truth – 4

 

“... Two people?”

 

I put the sandwich I'd been eating back into the basket. Putting away something half-eaten wasn't exactly a nice thing to do, but talking while eating also didn't feel like the right thing.

 

Sitting side by side on a dilapidated bench hidden behind the school building, Ruby and I looked at each other. She'd already finished her lunch. “What do you mean, two people?” I asked again. “Um, well...” she replied, turning her gaze back to her hands. She was folding the handkerchief she'd used to dry her hands, but her fingers seemed somewhat restless. No, perhaps it would be more accurate to say she seemed uneasy.

 

I suspected she might be feeling a bit awkward about this conversation.

 

“As I've said before, social class doesn't mean much to me. I know some people find it unpleasant, but on the other hand, there are also people who find it appealing.”

 

Ruby took a deep breath, and while there was a smile on her face, her profile looked somehow lonely. She had said that she would one day become the third wife of a wealthy merchant. By most standards, it would be a terrible match. Still, she laughed, saying that it couldn't have been a better match.

For us nobles, marriage is both a contract and politics.

The intentions of the two houses are given more importance than the individual will. The most important thing is how beneficial it is for both houses, and everything else is secondary.

While there are rare examples of love marriages where the couple is in love, in those cases, one of the houses is usually a powerful noble and has established a solid position in society. This means that the person from that house doesn't have to be picky about their partner.

Coming at it from the opposite angle.

Most nobles are unable to escape the ties of their families, and matchmaking proceeds regardless of their own wishes.

 

So even if I were worried about Ruby's future, it would be inappropriate and meddling for me to intervene. But even so.

I was about to ask if that was okay, but I gritted my teeth.

I knew I shouldn't say it.

 

I wasn’t a child anymore. I've learned that it's only natural to pretend to understand the circumstances each noble has, even if I don't.

 

“I can get along with anyone, so I listen to all of their stories.”

As she placed her handkerchief on her lap, I noticed a ring on her finger that hadn't been there the other day. The red stone, too big for her slender, small finger, reflected the sunlight. I could tell from her estimated transmittance. It wasn't just a glass bead. It was something worth a fortune.

 

“The piano performance at the music appreciation event. Lady Ilya was probably approached first.”

 

Huh? The shocking truth that was suddenly thrust upon me left me speechless. My breath hung in the air as I exhaled.

I'm sure I must have looked stupid. Ruby looked at me again and gave a bitter smile. “As I thought, you really didn't know, did you?” she said.

“Lady Ilya will one day become the wife of a marquis. The academy must have reached out to her for her own sake. They must have wanted to solidify Lady Ilya's position within the academy. Being chosen as a performer for the concert would add to her prestige. ---However,”

It's unclear how they heard about it, but someone has begun to voice their objections.

“If it's about playing the piano, isn't there someone more suitable? As things stand, Lady Ilya is from a third-ranked Earl family, and that's an undeniable fact. I've heard there was a strong protest, saying that if that's the case, then someone of a higher rank should be approached.”

Normally, when a student is chosen to perform at a music appreciation event, it's kept secret by those involved, including the student, until it's officially decided. Because it's such an honor, there's a chance that interference can arise depending on the student's qualifications and family background. Like this time.

“And so the name that came up was Lady Marianne.”

“...”

I tried to respond, but failed. It was as if my throat was blocked and I couldn't speak.

“Lady Marianne is from the highest-ranking earldom in the world, and her lineage is outstanding. Everyone knows that she's also a skilled pianist. The academy, which had already approached Lady Ilya, was apparently at a loss as to what to do, but...”

“Don’t tell me...”

“Yes. In the end, their proposal to Lady Ilya was scrapped.”

“They were under such a strong pressure?”

Overcome by an emotion similar to confusion and anger, I clenched my chest. I couldn't speak unless I did so.

“That’s right. There must have been a high-ranking noble who was deeply suspicious of Lady Ilya’s rise to fame. It's likely a rival faction of the Marquis of Nortis.”

“...I see.”

“So, it seems the academy ultimately came to the conclusion that it would be best to put Lady Ilya's future aside for the time being and focus on her present state. Naturally, I'm sure they took her academic test scores and other factors into consideration.”

 

In other words, without my knowledge, Ilya and I had been evaluated and selected by the academy. It was extremely unpleasant. But...

 

“This is the reality.”

Ruby preemptively said the words that had just crossed my mind. Her eyes were looking off into the distance.

“That's true. With me, there will be less friction between the families. And my fiancé is of a lower rank, so even if the concert were to fail, it wouldn't affect me.”

It's not like Ilya needed to achieve honor. At most, I’ll be laughed at. That would be unforgivable to the nobles, but it's not a big deal to me.

 

“I wonder if that's why she acted like that?”

 

Thinking back, Ilya hadn't been particularly friendly when I first met her in the library, and seemed to have been wary from the start. If that’s true, then perhaps no matter what I do, it would be futile in face of her stubborn, rigid mind.

As I was lost in thought, Ruby suddenly stood up and picked a white flower that had taken root in the ground.

“Lady Marianne, do you know the name of this flower?”

“Huh?”

To be honest, I have no interest in flowers and plants. If they're flowers that have been lovingly cultivated by someone else, then maybe it's something I should know about as part of my education.

“I don't know either.”

The flower slipped from her hand, scattering its petals on the soil. Almost blown away by the wind, it spun around once, then twice as if resisting the wind. Its wrenching form made it seem as if it was withering.

“Natural talent is, in essence, a skill that ordinary people can't acquire. Lady Ilya is very good at the piano, but she's certainly not a genius. I'm sure it took a lot of effort to be able to play at that level. It must have been an amount of practice that I can't even imagine.”

“Yes, you are right.”

I feel relieved that Ruby had such a good understanding of what kind of person Ilya was. I couldn’t help but smile.

“I'm sure there were times when she struggled with not being able to play the way she wanted. The tone she was aiming for, the state she had to reach. There must have been pieces that were technically difficult to play with those small hands.”

 

I felt uneasy about my friend speaking as if she'd seen Ilya herself.

As if she could see right through me, she smiled broadly and said, “I understand. I'm the same way.”

 

“But there's a crucial difference between Lady Ilya and me. I gave up when I was a child. I realized I'd never get any better, so I looked for another path... For the instrument, I didn't have to stick to the piano. So I practiced the flute.”

 

As if remembering something, she burst out laughing and continued, “Strangely enough, I improved at it faster than at the piano.”

I found this strange, since within the framework of music, there's no difference between playing an instrument. But this kind of thing happens all the time. Someone can be good at singing but bad at playing, or good at playing but bad at singing.

 

“But unlike me, Lady Ilya has no other options. It would be laughable for the next Marquis’ wife not to be able to play the piano. She needs to have the skills to compete with professional performers.”

It's a custom unique to high-ranking nobility.

There's a strange shared understanding that only those well-versed in music, painting, and antiques are considered upper class.

So, if you're born into the nobility, everyone spends time on things other than studying from an early age. Even if you don't have the talent for it.

You have to be able to do it to a certain extent.

But Ilya isn't allowed to do that “to a certain extent.”

 

“By the way, Lady Marianne, do you like the piano?”

 

Ruby sat back down on the bench, and I looked at her toes. They were new shoes. I remembered that a while ago she'd complained that her family was in financial difficulty and couldn't even afford to buy a new hair accessory. “The first place to judge someone's generosity is their feet.” There was a saying, so there was no way she could go to school in old shoes.

“No, I don't really like it. I don't like practicing anyway,” I said self-deprecatingly,

 

“That's not fair,” came a voice a little lower than usual.

 

Wondering if I was hearing things, I unconsciously touched my earlobe. Looking at Ruby's face, I sensed no hostility, and only a soft breeze blew between us.

A small bird was chirping somewhere.

“...Or that’s what I expect Lady Ilya to think,” said Ruby before bowing her head apologetically for her rudeness.

“But isn't that right, Lady Marianne? Even when you don't try so hard, you still play beautifully. When Lady Marianne plays the piano, everyone will think, “You're so good.””

That's what they call talent.

 

“How would you feel if such a person stole your chance to perform, and then praised your own playing? Don't you think that would be so shameful? By anyone’s standard, you’d feel miserable.”

“...”

“No matter how desperately you practice, you still haven't practiced enough. There's a place you want to reach, but you just can't get there. It's painful. It's difficult. Maybe practicing is pointless. And then, when you feel that way, someone who's already standing where you're aiming for praises you for being good. Then, wouldn’t you think---What kind of sarcasm is that? Or maybe it's just flattery. That's for sure.”

Ruby, who seemed to have read Ilia's mind, continued without any emotion.

 

Now I finally understood. That girl, Ilya, must have felt like her heart had been trampled on.

“I just wanted to make Ilya happy. I never meant to hurt her.”

My heart ached.

Even though I was the one who hurt her.

 

“I know. You are just being kind, Lady Marianne.”

 

I know, but I'm sure Lady Ilya doesn't know. You’re not that close, after all. I felt taken aback by my friend who had simply spoken the truth.

That's right. There's no doubt about it. I never got close to Ilya at all.

 

“I'll do my best. I'll get closer to Lady Ilya.”

 

I wonder what Ruby thought when she saw me once again motivated. She just looked at me, neither approving nor denying. It was only later that I learned the meaning of that expression.

And so, I began to try every possible way to get closer to Ilya.

 

That was a terrible mistake.

 

***

 

"---Why?!"

 

The scream-like voice left me paralyzed.

 

I, who was standing next to Soleil, immediately took a step back.

 

“What are you trying to do? Lady Marianne! Lord Soleil is my fiancé!”

 

If I couldn't openly become close to Ilya, I foolishly considered whether I could indirectly bridge the gap through her fiancé, Soleil. I just wanted to get information, any information at all.

Naturally, since the other party was a marquisate, the kind of political maneuvering that my family and the Matisse family engaged in wouldn't work.

Therefore, I figured that as long as I understood my own position, I wouldn't get caught up in any strange power struggles between families.

 

However, he was very guarded, and things didn't go as planned. Even considering that he was of the opposite sex, I felt like I was being blocked by a much stronger wall than Ilya had faced.

He was certainly the heir to a marquisate.

That's why I became stubborn and tried to make contact with him many times, accompanied by a friend (I knew it wouldn't be good to be alone with him).

I started with casual questions like, “What do you do on your days off? What are your hobbies? What kind of books do you read?” But no matter how many times we met, he became even more distant instead of becoming closer, so I stopped beating around the bush.

Before long, I started asking him how often he saw his fiancée and even what kind of conversations they had.

 

I was so desperate that I didn't even consider how my actions were being perceived by those around me.

Ruby had indeed given me a stern warning, saying, “Aren’t you going too far?”

 

I didn't even realize that the young ladies I was usually close to had misunderstood the situation and were flirting with Soleil and his friends in the name of supporting me. I never imagined that the influence of the first ranked Earl house would be displayed here.

In short, I had made the young ladies conceited.

They thought that as long as I was there, they could do whatever they wanted and get away with it.

 

“Ilya, calm down. It's nothing.”

 

Soleil tried to mediate by touching her. She swatted his hand away, trembling dramatically, and said, “What are you thinking, Lord Soleil? To have a woman who isn't even your fiancée by your side like this...”

“I'm sorry, Lady Ilya. I didn't mean to—" I began to say, before realizing she was staring at me with an expression that couldn't hide her hatred.

 

Since when?

Since when had she been looking at me like this?

 

“As someone from a distinguished family, I believe you would be aware of this. To repeatedly engage in contact with men while engaged is a highly immoral act.”

Although the tone was calm, it felt like a clear condemnation. No, it was a clear accusation.

“Ilya, won’t you stop here?”

Soleil tried to intervene again to admonish her, but she refused to listen, saying, “This is a matter between me and Lady Marianne.” Her defiant attitude was gradually attracting everyone's attention.

 

“Raising your voice like that, isn't it you, Lady Ilya, who has improper behavior?”

 

The person who interrupted our conversation at this point with a particularly loud voice was a friend of mine—though, normally, we only exchanged greetings, and today we were just walking down the corridor together; she was someone I barely interacted with.

 

Her family status was lower than Ilya's, but perhaps she thought she was speaking on my behalf because I was with her.

 

“Lord Soleil must never have a moment's peace with a fiancée as possessive as Lady Ilya," the young lady continued, and Ilya glanced at her, her brows furrowed. Her lips were colorless because she was clenching her teeth. She was holding back.

 

“Haha, you're right. Soleil must find it stifling.”

 

Another person joined the discussion. The newcomer to the group was a friend of Soleil's. I believe his name was Edward. This man with red hair, though not of the same social standing as Soleil, was a well-known figure within the academy. They had been together almost constantly since entering the academy, and today, as usual, they were walking side-by-side. Anyone associated with the heir of a marquisate would naturally command respect.

 

That's why everyone thought the same thing: if he was Soleil's friend, then what he was saying was true. In other words, this was the truth, his genuine feelings.

 

“Hey,” Soleil seemed to be trying to reprimand his friend.

 

“I...I...” But he seemed to decide to wait for his fiancée's next words, which were trembling as she tried to say something. He remained where he was, simply waiting.

 

“Soleil, shouldn't you just say it clearly? Tell her to stop acting so shamefully.”

 

Whether he heard his friend's words or not, Soleil reached out his right hand to touch Ilya. But he couldn't reach her. She took a few steps back, gazing at the polished floor as if simply enduring.

 

My heart ached at the sight of her trembling fist clenching her skirt.

 

“Please stop. I was being far too thoughtless. Lady Ilya, you did nothing wrong. I'm so sorry for causing such a commotion,” I added, glancing around.

 

But then someone said, "To make Lady Marianne bow her head like that... what is she thinking?" What a mess. No matter what I said, it would all be Ilya's responsibility.

As I pondered what to say to appease the crowd of onlookers gathering, I saw Ruby standing quietly beyond the throng. Her eyes, usually soft and gentle, were now fixed on me with a stern intensity, as if pleading to convey something.

Our eyes met for only a few seconds. Even so, there was a connection.

 

I see. In this situation, Ilya is precisely, "of a lower rank."

 

---Because I'm here.

 

Those young ladies mistakenly believe that as long as I'm around, they can do and say whatever they want and get away with it. And I overlooked it. In other words, this is my responsibility, it's entirely my fault.

 

“...I deeply apologize,”

 

I heard Ilya's voice fade away, almost collapsing into a faint whisper. I realized I had done something irreparable.

 

The warmth vanished from my fingertips.

 

What should I do?

 

What should I do?

 

“Let us go, Lady Marianne,” the young lady urged, apparently concerned about the escalating commotion. I fled the scene as if I were running away.

 

My father's warning, “Don't make the wrong choice,” stung me like a sharp blade.

 

A throbbing pain, like having boiling water dropped on my heart, seemed to be a stark reminder of the sins I had committed.

Chapter 64                                                                

 

Nocta's news:
There are currently six new chapters. I'm working on them slowly one by one. See you soon for more suffering!