Chapter 43

7 – The Eternity of Kaliarya Ignis – 3

 

“No matter how much time passes, you never change. Your face still looks like that of a child’s.”

 

The cue that made me notice the abnormality was truly something trivial.

It was when I went to shop at the market for Emma, who said she wanted to eat some fruit. The proprietress of the street stall said that sentence while staring at my face.

When I bent my head and asked, “Is that so?” she strongly nodded her head several times and said, “Yeah, it is.”

It was a stand I frequently visited. Before I knew it, I realized I’d been going there for so long that they now called me a regular.

At first, they acted quite reservedly in front of me as they could see from a glance that I was a noble, but after meeting me so many times, they grew used to it. At that time, when things were still awkward, I showed them a smile.

Now, I was acquainted with most of the shopkeepers and got along with them to the extent of exchanging a word or two even if I wasn’t there on an errand.

           

When these words that didn’t contain any malice dropped among my peaceful ordinary days, my eyes widened in shock.

           

“You’ve got the same face as years ago,” said the lady shopkeeper while laughing.

Poking my cheek with her finger, she said my face was too childlike. Then she teased me, With such a youthful appearance, isn’t it hard on your wife? A woman always wants to stay young forever, yet it’s her husband who looks younger.

 

“Well, your wife is also a pretty cute person, but you don’t lose to her!”

 

The words oozing out of her laughing voice echoed in the depths of my ears.

Then, my whole body greatly shook once.

Even though it was the same frivolous talk as usual... was it my imagination that something sounded different?

 

“… Hey, what’s wrong so suddenly? Your complexion looks bad.”

 

The shopkeeper, who was staring at my face, frowned in anxiety.

I averted my head to evade her gaze, but only my voice was pretending to be calm. I pressed down on my chest, trying to suppress my panic pulse, and I desperately made a smile.

I don’t remember what I said or what the shopkeeper answered. Nevertheless, I must have said some parting words before I left that place.

To support my staggering body, I cautiously took one step after the other, stepping firmly on the ground. But eventually, I could no longer stand it and broke into a run.

I got on the carriage that was waiting for me near the market and kept inhaling deep breaths again and again while listening to the sound of my heart beating louder and louder.

The words “No matter how much time passes, you never change” continued to repeat on a loop inside my mind.

 

“… Such an absurd thing cannot be…”

 

When I tried to persuade myself, my whispering voice quivered helplessly.

The tips of my fingers had lost their color and had grown numb with cold, despite the fact we weren’t in winter. I sank on my seat and curved my back, holding my body with my arms. It felt like I would fall apart if I didn’t do that.

I heard the coachman ask if it was alright to depart now, but I couldn’t answer him.

 

Memories of my childhood revived inside my head.

Yeah. Memories of the day father cast that unknown spell on me. Of the spell and symbols used to invoke the sorcery that filled to the brim that firmly locked room.

Even now, some of them were still seared into my eyes. Even if I tried to forget that, I couldn’t.

Since what happened between father and me was annoying, I wanted to forget the whole incident as quickly as possible. Yet, I never could.

 

Therefore, these past few years… I spent them trying to determine what the hell the sorcery father tried to cast was.

Emma was quite anxious to see me so immersed in my research. Bringing back with me stacks of books upon stacks of books from the library, I secluded myself in my room and my complexion wasn’t that great.

The fact that she still didn’t say anything to try to stop me was because she worried about me. It’s surely something I shouldn’t say myself, but I must have looked very bloodcurdling. Each passing day, I tried to clarify father’s magic square….

Assailed by an ominous presentiment, I shivered.

 

Still, I could have some peace of mind because I was convinced father’s spell had failed.

 

Not the slightest change could be seen on my body, which was supposed to have received father’s magic. I had thought this was the exact proof it had failed.

Of course, after the spell was cast on me at first, I couldn’t move and strange patterns appeared on my skin. But afterwards, this never happened again.

On the contrary, I wasn’t sick even once. I had been the very picture of health itself.

 

… … But these words that were said to me at the market… shattered my confidence.

Was it successful?...... That doubt dominated all my thoughts.

My appearance looked younger than I actually was. My height, which should have shot higher, remained low. Appearance and height were hereditary, and when I thought of my parents and grandparents, it seemed I was the only one different.

If you think about it calmly, in this body of mine that received father’s spell, a transformation had certainly taken place. A transformation where nothing would change.

Thinking about it, for a magician as great as father, weren’t the chances of success higher? In that case, I…

 

“…Bloody hell. Oh, my God. How could you... how could you do such a thing…?”

 

I desperately suppressed the urge to shout.

I frankly swallowed down the words I wanted to spat. The lump of words that couldn’t come out seemed to block my throat like a mass of plomb and it hurt.

While my teeth clattered and my lips quivered, I strongly closed my eyes. Then I tried to force myself to recall father’s magic square. 

 

The sorcery father had tried to cast at that time was…… the magic of perpetual youth and eternal life, the so-called “immortality spell.”

 

It wasn’t so long ago that I got clear evidence of this. When I was helping a famous magician with his research, I happened to see the book collection kept by the country.

In there were recorded magics that remained incomplete due to their complexity and a forbidden art that shouldn’t be researched. In that confidential collection, a part of a spell that no ordinary person could hope to come across was recorded. Since it was incomplete, only one part of it was written down. But I knew that spell and these symbols.

 

Father’s magic square was etched in my mind. It was the same spell as the one written there.

 

I did my own research for several years and using both the remaining books in the study used by father and the symbols written in the confidential collection, I concluded that he was undoubtedly about to complete the spell related to “immortality.”

The sorcery of eternal life was said to be an empty theory. And the spell of perennial youth was treated as a technically achievable but forbidden art.

By combining these two spells, he completed a sorcery said to be impossible. Then, I finally reached the conclusion that he had used his son as his experimental subject.

           

At first when I realized this, I laughed scornfully. That he might have been a matchless magician, yet he was an utter fool. At that time, I had enough composure to sneer in ridicule.

…… I mocked him because he wanted to finish his research so badly that he even used his own son as a guinea pig, yet it failed. I had even been able to laugh loudly, but now...

 

“Father, you…”

 

… really didn’t love me at all. My whispering voice squeezed out these words, but they vanished under the sound of the carriage that had started to move.

 

********************

 

“Welcome back.”

 

When I came back to the estate, Emma welcomed me with a smile.

Like usual, the corners of her kind eyes were gently narrowed. Her lips were drawn in a soft arc. Her cute noise was small but not too short.

I stared fixedly at her face and slowly breathed out. Her ash-brown eyes were reflecting my face. That alone was enough to make me feel relieved. Naturally, her appearance hadn’t changed.

When I kissed her cheek, she laughed and said it tickled.

 

When I was living with father, the manor felt quite gloomy, but since she came, the atmosphere has completely changed.

For the sake of that young and lonely girl, the servants started to decorate the interior with flowers. Emma noticed it and as she grew up, she began to choose the flowers herself and fuss over the vases’ arrangements.

It might only be a trivial change, but unexpectedly the influence on the whole was quite consequential. Just because the estate was decorated with flowers, it became brighter and livelier.

Maybe her existence itself was part of the reason everything brightened.

Then, since Emma and I got married, another small change happened. Laughter would echo here and there inside the mansion. Even the employees, who usually engaged in their duties silently, happily chatted with Emma. Our relationships, which felt somewhat strained before I went to the academy, were mended without me realizing it.

Even though we got married, it’s not like we did something special. We didn’t change the arrangement of the house and didn’t buy new furniture either. Yet, the wind blowing through the corridors felt fresh and invigorating.

The people living in a place affect the building itself. I understood that such a thing probably wasn’t true, yet it was strange because it did seem so.

 

“Rya? What happened?”

 

I didn’t know if I managed to keep up the appearances well, but I tried to act like the usual me.

I told her, “I’m home,” had a meal with her, narrated today’s events, and laughed from time to time. When the conversation came to a halt, we each went to take a bath. Then we once again chatted pleasantly for a while before entering our bedroom. Everything unfolded like usual.

 

“Rya?”

 

Emma was sitting on the bed. She looked up with worry as I stood unmoving at the entrance of the room.

When she came to the estate, I remember that I had a bigger figure and was the taller one. It was particularly visible. As she was considerably smaller than other children her age, the difference in our stature was very apparent.

“Rya?”

Step by step, I closed the distance between her, who was tilting her head with a puzzled expression, and then I touched her cheek.

Remaining seated, she looked up at me. Her sparkling eyes, which seemed to have captured the faint light inside the room, were beautiful.

 

“You’ve become a lot taller compared to the past.”

 

She was slightly tall now. So inevitably, the occasions where she had to look up at me had lessened. But she wasn’t especially tall. On the contrary, her stature was smaller than average.

And I was even smaller than this average woman. Until now, I had laughed about it. Even if I was teased, we joked and said that one day I would grow up.

 

“Yeah, and so? ……What is it? Mentioning this after all this time.”

 

She giggled and grasped my arm. She clasped my hands in hers.

Feeling Emma’s warmth transmitted through her palms, I heaved a little sigh.

Usually, just by joining hands with her, my unease would fly off somewhere…… That’s what should always happen but…

 

“Emma, you see, I want a family.”

 

Her fingertips I was squeezing slightly twitched.

Then, with her eyes opened wide due to the sudden realization, Emma answered back, “Yes,” and made a very happy expression. “I’ve always known that.”

Indeed, we had taken an oath. To make a lively family, with lots of kids. It might be because we had both lost our families. We wanted to build a family, raise kids, live happily.

Even though we had vowed to create such a natural and banal future, I felt a strong longing, as if I were starving for something. If happiness could take shape, then surely, I dare say it would take the form of these very days I spent together with her.

No matter how many years pass thereafter, these days will never fade from my memory. Even these trifling events, which seemed to be something that would eventually be forgotten, felt so dear to me.  

 

… … That’s why, I couldn’t let go of those hands I was grasping tightly.

 

“Rya. I’m sure we’ll make a wonderful family.”

 

As she laughed bashfully, I embraced her.

I didn’t want her to sense that my heart was behaving strangely, but I couldn’t help but hug her.

“Why are you so tense?” Emma whispered in my ear. Her gentle voice was laughing a little. It was the voice that always supported me. Yet now, hearing it made my heart shake helplessly and it seemed my legs would crumble at any time.

With my trembling fingers, I gently caressed her shoulder. I didn’t want her to notice my uneasiness. But on the other hand, I was thinking of honestly telling her everything if she had.

 

“You’re quite tired, aren’t you?”

 

I couldn’t say anything back to her kind voice, which cared for and sympathized with me.

The coward I was simply swallowed his breath and strongly closed his eyes.

If I speak now, I’ll surely end up crying.

I probably understood. That almost certainly, God won’t bless us with children.

If the reason humans gave birth to children was to perpetuate their descendance.

If there is a meaning in not letting your blood run out, in having someone succeed and in leaving something behind.

Then, I should not need these.

 

But, if my deduction was correct, my blood wouldn’t run out. I... won’t die. That’s probably what it meant to be immortal.

 

“You should sleep now.” As I heard my wife say so, we entered the bed.

With our hands still connected, we stared into each other’s eyes without saying anything for a while. We knew we were both looking for the right words.

Seeing me in a different state than usual, she was perplexed, but in the end, she seemed to have decided to watch over me. Was it the so-called motherly instinct?

In our childhood, I had been like her father, her older brother or maybe an elder in life. But along with our growth, our mental ages seemed to have been reversed.

Maybe she was thinking that if it’s me, then no matter what happens, I will be alright. Because actually, that’s how it had been up until now. For most things.

 

If it had been like usual, I would have also thought like her. … … That I’ll surely be alright.

I could say without any conceit that I had the social position, the assets and the talents to believe as such.

But problems beyond our imagination, problems that couldn’t be solved, seemed to exist in this world. One of them might be my own existence.

Father’s magic square had disappeared long ago; the spell carved in my body had been removed from my flesh. In other words, I couldn’t draw “the correct magic square” written by father.

That’s why there was no method to break this magic. I didn’t know of any spells that could counter it. Besides, there weren’t any magicians who could break father’s magic.

Meaning that, by irony of fate, this magic had been completed by father’s death. Due to his death, the key to undoing this spell was perpetually buried in the dark. In short, the spell has become eternal. Wasn’t it what father had been aiming for all this time?

 

An eternal life. A lifespan that would never end.

 

“Even if it’s a lullaby, do you want me to sing something?”

 

Maybe she got tired of waiting for me, who seemed to be determined not to sleep, but she asked me that question with a quiet voice.

I bet she intended to say it as a joke. But when I nodded, Emma made a slightly surprised expression. For a few seconds only, a wry smile floated on her lips, then she wrapped her arms around my back and started to sing.

It was a melody I wasn’t very familiar with. Although she had sung it several times, it was a bit different from the lullabies that had been passed down in this country since the olden times. But because it felt nostalgic, it was a bit strange.

Emma had reached this place after struggling for a long time, coming from a faraway place. However, I had never asked her in detail about her early days. Maybe she had come from a place even farther away than I imagined.

Shall I ask her when I wake up tomorrow? But I could also do it now, was what I was thinking when I realized her singing had stopped, and I opened my eyes.

She was at a distance close enough for the tips of our noses to touch, deep asleep. I felt something heartrending looking at her gentle face. My exhaled breath trembled then disappeared. 

 

Will she one day leave me behind and die?

Then will I be the only person remaining, all by myself?

 

I’ll never be able to endure it. Such a thing... is absolutely impossible. 

 

Chapter 42                                                    Chapter 44

Chapter 42

7 – The Eternity of Kaliarya Ignis – 2

 

“Rya.”

 

There was only one person who called me this.

I don’t know why she gave me that nickname. I didn’t ask her and she didn’t tell me either.

I think there might not be any significant reason. But, I should have asked.

 

… … Our encounter was unexpected. It was dramatic but also very normal.

In short, for us it was a very important incident, but for the rest of the world it was a completely inconsequential event. 

 

I picked her up as she had collapsed by the roadside.

 

It happened when I was in my carriage, on my way back from a little shopping trip to a slightly distant town.

While I was crossing through a forest, I discovered her lying down covered by weeds. It was purely by chance that I happened to see her, who was rolled up into a ball under the very dim light. Because she was unconscious and didn’t move at all.

 

Some people would call this encounter fate. But at that time, I didn’t think about this at all. Maybe most people would, but I think “fate” is only something you realize afterwards.

Actually, if I must describe my mental state when I picked her up, then I could only say that I thought, “Oh, an unconscious person collapsed by the roadside, ignoring her would be inhumane.” So, I did what was natural as a person. That was all.

It was also why I brought her back to the mansion and took care of that girl who continued to sleep soundly. There was no special meaning behind it…. There shouldn’t have been.

I intended to do that no matter who the other party was. No, to begin with, it’s the servants of the mansion who looked after her.

           

And yet, she repeatedly expressed her gratitude to me.

 

“… I left my hometown with my mother, wanting to go to the royal capital but mother… passed away from a disease.”

 

After hovering between lethargy and awakening, before long, she completely woke up and told me about her circumstances.

Her story was a typical reflection of society at that time and wasn’t unusual at all.

The royal capital carried great splendors, but on the other hand, the agricultural villages scattered in various regions were struggling in poverty. It couldn’t be helped that people would abandon their hometown and go to a new land in search of employment, but it didn’t always turn out well.

There were many who, like her, would use up all their travelling funds while looking for a better place and would collapse. Even that young girl, who had narrated her past, must have known about it.

Rather than mourning and regretting her mother’s death, she surely felt a sort of resignation towards the fact she was the only one to have survived.

I remember how her face was beyond pale and looked ashen. It was my first time seeing a so-called “person on the verge of dying” and that might be why her expression was so clearly etched into my memory.

 

And also, I remember her hand. It was so covered in wounds that it was shocking. Her cracked nails told the severity of her life. Her eyes, that seemed exhausted like an old person when she was probably still in her teens, were reflecting my own face.

I don’t know why, but I instinctively averted my gaze. My eyes fell on my own pure-white hands and I unintentionally sighed. Those hands of mine that had never experienced any hardship. They were too different from hers.

This difference was that of our environment itself. Even though we had both lost our parents, we didn’t have anything else in common. You could maybe say we weren’t far in age if you were to truly want to find another similarity.

Unlike her who had collapsed by the roadside, at that time, I was leading a life everyone would envy.

           

My father, who obtained a peerage thanks to wedding my mother, had passed away and inevitably, I had succeeded him as the family head.

But the things a child like me could do were limited and it was actually my mother’s younger brother who took care of all the affairs regarding the management of my territory.

According to him, he had been doing that even when father was still in good health, so he wished for me not to worry about anything. That’s how it was.

In short, father had obtained a court rank through his wedding with mother, but he didn’t receive anything apart from that. I understood that in this hierarchical society where lineages meant everything, this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Whether it was the territory or its population, or the gains that came from them, just about everything belonged to my mother’s side of the family, only the nobility rank was granted to father. That and nothing else.

So, it was logically the same for his successor, me. I succeeded his peerage, but it was only a document, my name was simply put at the end of the aristocrat register. 

           

But the reason I could live so comfortably without missing anything was thanks to father’s inheritance. As a magician, he amassed this whole wealth in a single generation.

Moreover, on top of this, I was able to receive compensation for each and every magic that was developed thanks to father’s research. It was either the country, a wealthy individual or the army that gave me these rewards.

It’s for this reason that a person without a single relative like me was able to lead such a peaceful and comfortable life. 

           

My parents had already passed away and yet, I still had a house to live in and never lacked food to eat. I was very aware of how blessed this life of mine was.

If I had been an ordinary child, even if I had discovered an unconscious person, I couldn’t have saved them. Maybe I would have been able to reach out to them, but that was all. I would have looked for someone who could save her and things would have ended there. Because ordinary children could only do that much.

But I was excessively rich. Even if I picked up a child the same age as me, it would barely trouble my usual life.

In the first place, if I wasn’t confident, I would not take home a person who looked to be about to die. Fortunately, there were a lot of servants who knew how to take care of sick people, I didn’t suffer any loss.

           

At that time, there were countless servants in my estate. They were hired after father’s death.

His former colleague did a really good job on this matter. He made all the arrangements, from gathering people to selecting them as employees, finding reliable and trustworthy people. 

           

They were hired through this process, so their personality and disposition had been evaluated. They were honest and sincere, patriotic, they disliked cutting corners and worked themselves to the bones.

Even if they sometimes advised me against doing something, they never denied me head-on. They respected our relationship as servants and master and would always abide by my decision ultimately.

It’s because they were here that the young me who could still be called a “boy” wasn’t put in a difficult situation, at a loss as to what to do. I was very lucky to have been able to meet those people.

 

But what existed between us was only a relationship between employer and employees.

Hence, there was barely any mutual emotional attachment. We were only tied by a kind of faith based on money. This relationship that was clearly divided into “the one who gives” and “the ones who receive” gave birth to the recognition that “it’s justified to give” and “it’s natural to receive.”

No matter how friendly we became with each other, we couldn’t cross over that frame, that restriction. It created a kind of frustration and was a hard to describe relationship.

It didn’t mean I was dissatisfied with this situation, but I wasn’t satisfied either. I thought something was lacking, yet I didn’t understand what it was.

It was when I was harboring such gloomy thoughts that… … I found that girl.

 

“I’m glad I was saved by you.”

 

Laughing reservedly, Emma wasn’t frugal with her words to express her gratitude.

It was a bit refreshing. Because around me there were only people who waited on me. That’s how servants were. They could express their gratitude, even to an excessive extent, but that was only a round-about-way of expressing a hypocritical courtesy and what needed to be expressed wasn’t conveyed.

I understood I was being thanked, but I couldn’t honestly accept this feeling. There was almost no such thing as to simply say “thank you.”

I didn’t know how much meaning was contained in that single word.

 

Seeing the girl crying while saying again and again “… Thank you for finding me,” somehow made my chest tighten.

 

I felt more confused than happy. But I didn’t dislike this feeling. An unnamed emotion gradually spread in the depths of my chest. Until that moment, I hadn’t known that feeling.

A fire was lit in the deepest part of my frozen body. While that sensation warmed me up until my fingertips, I could only stare back at her small face in silence.

To such a me, she once again said “thank you” with a smile. It’s at that moment I discovered for the first time that words could shake one’s emotions so much. 

 

I might have been in need of a person who would not act according to their own interests.

A relationship where we were tied by money had its pros and cons, its strengths and weaknesses. Currently, the servants were earnestly doing their best to serve me, but if I became penniless, they would surely leave.

Even though I understood, such relationships felt futile and empty. 

 

“By the way… won’t you ask for my name?”

 

Through her lips that had lost their colors, she questioned with a somewhat dubious expression.

Even though the question she asked didn’t seem that important to me, she made an expression as if it was very significant. That surprised me, and I bent my head in wonder.

Was it because inside the mansion, I only came in contact with a limited number of people? Or because I was unconsciously afraid of getting deeply involved with someone?

I couldn’t comprehend what she was brooding over, why she was making such a worried face.

Seeing me like this, she kindly explained that in human relationships, nothing would begin until both parties knew each other’s name and face. She explained that calling someone’s name held a meaning.

 

“Usually, it’s the first thing you ask,” she said with a smile. But none of us did, she added. “I thought you weren’t interested in me. But I was wrong. You just didn’t know. … … If you think you want to learn more about someone, first, you must ask for their name.”

 

The girl looked at me with a wry smile. I felt I started to see the importance of the thing I had forgotten and I lost my words.

 

“My name is Emma.”

 

Your name is...? She asked, but at that precise moment words wouldn’t come out.

Because I was “the master”, or “the young master,” or even “that person’s son.”

 

“… Kaliarya Ignis.”

 

My own name, which I said for the first time in a few years, felt dry. They were words I would not usually say. However… …

“Then, it’s Rya” she said while smiling happily from the bottom of her heart.

At that instant, for the first time, my name carried a meaning.

 

Now that I thought about it, I realized father didn’t call my name very often. But I also thought it no longer mattered. … … it wasn’t important.

“You see, Rya sounds kind of cute.” In front of her narrowed eyes, the discord between father and me seemed very petty. 

 

“Once again, best regards, Rya.”

 

And like this, we gradually reduced the distance between us. We knew our names and by talking together, our understanding of each other deepened.

That was the way to live with a person who wasn’t a servant. I had to make an effort to know what my partner sought and what she wanted to do.

I didn’t like putting up with anxiety, but I had fun.

 

… … Then, a few years passed since we started to live together.

 

Emma made up her mind to study at the academy. She told me she would pay me back someday and ask to be allowed to enroll. It was a shame, but she had less magical power than average.

At least I want to raise my knowledge, she appealed to me with a sense of urgency in her gaze. When I was puzzled as to why she was so desperate,

 

“I want to be helpful to you,” she said, lowering her despondent eyes.

 

Until then, I thought that I had racked my brain in order to understand Emma.

But that being said, it didn’t mean I could read her mind. I could more or less guess what was on her mind. I didn’t know if it was truly the case, but she seemed to have compared herself with the servants living in the estate. That was probably it.

The servants seemed to view Emma as a child who couldn’t do anything. They never ridiculed her, but they certainly continued to treat her as a young child. Maybe the fact that Emma was someone who had wandered on the border between life and death once, played a big part in their attitude. It wasn’t surprising that the people in our surroundings became overprotective.

But Emma could not accept it.

 

I thought very fondly of that attitude of hers. 

 

When she came to the mansion at first, she gave the impression of living simply because “it couldn’t be helped,” because she had survived purely by luck.

Now she was ashamed of herself, she felt she was lacking something. This looked like proof she was trying to grow……. She was looking at the future. This made me feel relieved.

 

“Since we are taking the trouble to enroll you, maybe I’ll also tag along.”

“…Eh? You too? But, you don’t need to attend the academy, do you?”

“Not needing to go and not wanting to are two different things. I want to go to the academy together with you.”

 

Apparently, I seemed to be like father and possessed an enormous amount of magical energy. It was said I would maybe surpass my father who wanted to be called a genius.

So, I naturally planned to become a magician like him. To that end, I requested to be taught by several private tutors and there was originally no need to attend the academy.

But in order to formally become a magician, you needed to take the examination prepared by the country. It had age restrictions and I had to wait several years before I could take it. Therefore, going to the academy wasn’t a bad idea to waste time until then.

 

Besides, I simply thought it would be fun to go to school together with her.

There was no problem with paying the entrance and tuition fees for attending the academy and it was a perfect opportunity for me, who had gotten bored of living secluded in the mansion.

 

“You’ve changed. But that’s all right. I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

 

Emma laughed in a light voice. The servants who were watching us at a distance also smiled. It was a scene that couldn’t be seen when I was living with father.

Just a single girl named Emma stayed at the mansion, yet I felt the relationship between me and the employees was changing.

 

…….. To speak with words from those days, I think that at that time we were surely basking in the light of the thing called “happiness.”

 

I never felt uneasy about the future, on the contrary my hopes and expectations for it were bright.

 

And also, I believed and never doubted that I could realize the ideal I had envisioned.

 

*******************

 

Naturally, life at the academy wasn’t all fun. Especially for me, who hadn’t interacted much with people of the same generation until now.

Of course, the academy served as a school, but at the same time it was also a place were the sons and daughters of noble families could deepen their ties. In the first place, a school with an enormous enrollment fee could only be attended by people above the middle class.

Since most of those people were aristocrats, inevitably a division by social ranks also appeared inside the school. Memorizing those complex human relationships required a huge effort.

 

However, my mother was a noble and I had inherited her blood, so it was inconsequent for me.

I’ve probably had times when my attitude towards higher-ranked nobles was disrespectful, but it didn’t turn out to be a problem and I was forgiven. I’m sure the fact father had been such a great magician to the point of being called “a hero” played a huge role. That and also the fact he had been acknowledged by the king himself.

I think my standing in the academy was considerably high. In that respect, there was no mistake that as a commoner, Emma couldn’t hope to be compared with me.

I don’t really know how she felt about this because she skillfully hid her feelings. I never asked her why she did that. While we were almost the same age, she might have sensed something from me, who acted like I was her guardian.

Now that I thought back on it… I wonder if Emma didn’t simply want to stand in the same position as me, to be my equal.

 

That’s how we lead our academic life and its ups and downs. Then before long, we graduated.

Like always, we continued to live in the same mansion, but we started to have our own jobs each.

 

I became a magician like I had desired, and she became a puppeteer.

“Puppeteer” was the occupation of making dolls as a living, but of course it wasn’t just normal dolls. By making a portion of her scarce magical power flow into them, she could make her dolls move as if they were truly alive. But since they didn’t have their own will, they could only move according to a fixed way.

For example, they could follow a few simple actions such as standing up, sitting down or bowing and greeting. They reacted to their owner’s voice, they were like mechanical dolls. The difference was just that they moved thanks to magic and not a mechanism.

Some people sneered in ridicule, saying that even though she had taken the trouble to attend the academy, the knowledge she learnt there wasn’t put to use, but she didn’t let that stop her. She laughed, “Going to the academy was to widen my alternatives, to live you need all the knowledge possible. I went to the academy to learn other ways to live.”

She sounded quite philosophical. It was true she learnt many things at the academy, and because this place was like a miniature copy of society, I think there were many things to gain from it.

I also fully realized that to become a magician, just having magical power wasn’t enough. In order to work and earn a living, you must acquire customers. For this, you need to widen your personal connections. It wasn’t possible if we stayed confined in the mansion.

 

Maybe Emma gained some self-confidence after getting a job, but she started to engage more actively and positively with the employees of the estate.

Eventually, she became involved in the most important job in our house… that is, she became the one in charge of the asset management and paperwork that came along with it. She became “the mistress of the house.”

So, you could say it was the natural course of events for us to get married. No one opposed it. It was accepted as a matter of fact, and we also didn’t feel any discomfort about becoming spouses.

Looking at her while she laughed and said, “let’s be happy,” I thought such a wish was absurd. After all, I was already happy…… extremely happy.

 

If I could go back in time, then I would return to the days I spent together with her, any one of them was fine. Any point in time was fine, I would turn back time without any hesitation.

Even a single day was fine. No, just an hour would be enough. I would do anything if I could return to when I was laughing with her.

 

But... I knew that time couldn’t be turned back.

 

I was keenly, painfully aware of that.  

 Chapter 41                                                     Chapter 43